


From One Rainy Place to Another

by sergeantbee



Series: From One Rainy Place to Another [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Awkwardness, Blushing, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky's POV, Cute, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Healing, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Interrogation, Kissing, Light Angst, Protective Bucky Barnes, Secret Crush, Shirtless, Slow Build, Small mention of blood, Steve Rogers Feels, Tagging as I go, The truth is revealed, fight, worrying about each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-26 12:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 25,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5004994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sergeantbee/pseuds/sergeantbee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've just moved to New York on business. There's this myserious, handsome, homeless man with shoulder length brown hair who sits outside your office looking ominous as hell...Maybe he's not quite as bad as he looks though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New York

New York was not how you had expected it to be. You had expected it to be a much sunnier, warmer place than England, but instead a wild storm had been the first thing to greet you when you got off the plane.

The rain beat heavily down on the top of your umbrella as you stood outside the airport waiting for your taxi, suitcase handle held firmly in your hand. The wind whipped your hair in all directions and a rumble of thunder could be heard every few minutes, a flash of lighting announcing it's arrival each time. Even London hadn't been as bad as this.

You'd come to New York on business, the office you worked at back in England had expanded and set up a branch in America. They had been struggling for employees over there so you, and a few other members of staff, had been asked if you were willing to relocate. 

The decision to up and leave had been an easy one for you had needed a bit of adventure in your life lately and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to have one. Now though you wondered if this miserable, rainy place could offer you anything but rain-soaked shoes and a dampened spirit.

You were snapped out of your thoughts suddenly as a car came whizzing past, splattering you with cold rain water from a puddle nearby. You gasped as the water immediately drenched your clothes and seeped into your skin, making you shiver. 

"Brilliant." You muttered out loud and could only look down at your wet clothes sadly.

"Hey." A rough voice with a thick New York accent made you look up.

A man in a taxi had just pulled up and was leaning out the window, looking straight at you.

"You Y/N L/N?" He asked, raising his voice slightly so you could hear him over the sounds of the storm.

You sighed and nodded, relieved that your taxi was finally here and you could be taken to a much drier place than this.

The man helped you load your suitcase into the boot and you climbed into the back seat of the car quickly, glad to be out of the rain. You told the driver to take you to the street your new apartment was located then slumped down in your seat, exhausted from the eight hour flight.

Wiping the steam off the window next to you, you looked out at the city. Not much could be seen due to the dark grey clouds and shower of rain constantly falling around you, which was showing no signs of stopping, but you could clearly make out the bright lights of the advertisement screens and the neon open signs from inside cosy looking cafes and restaurants. Excitement shot through you, this was a whole new city to explore. Even the feeling of your sodden clothes and the awful weather couldn't put out your spark of anticipation.

When you had arrived at your new apartment the taxi driver helped you get your suitcase out then sped off once you had handed him the money. You climbed the stairs to your apartment building, your heavy suitcase dragging behind you. As soon as you managed to get into your apartment you threw off your wet clothes and flopped onto the bed with a sigh of relief, instantly falling asleep.

___________________________________________________ 

Over the course of the next few month you managed to settle quite comfortably into your new home and office. Of course there had been some difficulties getting used to the new environment, and some differences between America and England were significant, but it had all been a part of the exhilarating experience of moving.

A little into the first month of being there you spotted a homeless man sat on the floor just outside your office building as you walked into work. He was wearing nearly all black, his hands were shoved deep into his pockets and the cap he wore was pulled low, his shoulder length brown hair shielded the sides of his face. For some reason you were intrigued by the man and your eyes seemed to be drawn to him-

"Oof!"

Your staring had caused you to forget to look where you were going and suddenly you had found yourself colliding with someone.

"Can you look where you're going?" The man you had crashed into snapped.

"I'm really sorry, I..." You started to apologise but they were already storming off.

You huffed and turned back around, your eyes falling back on the homeless man who had caused you to crash. To your surprise he was staring straight back having witnessed your embarrassing moment of crashing into a stranger. He was a good few feet away but you could still see his slight scowl and the sharpness of his features under a scraggy beard. The dark circles under his eyes made him look like he hadn't had a good nights sleep in years, nevertheless you couldn't help but think he looked rather handsome.

You blushed slightly under his stare and managed to compose yourself by smoothing down your skirt and walking on into the building quickly, aware of the mans gaze on you the entire time.

The day continued like any other but the homeless man continued to play on your mind throughout it, distracting you from your work. There had been something off about him, something that made you feel uneasy when he looked right into your eyes but you just couldn't put your finger on what it was, perhaps it was the fact he had eyed you with a great deal of suspicion or the way he continued to stare even after you had looked away.

"Hello?" A voice beside you made you jump.

"Huh?" You said, looking up to see your work friend, Jim, standing beside you, looking amused.

"Away with the fairies today?" He laughed, "I already asked you three times if you're coming to have lunch."

"Oh right, sorry. I'm coming." You said, standing up and grabbing the bag containing your lunch.

You walked, with Jim, down the stairs and out of the office towards the coffee shop where you usually ate together. As you came out of the building you looked to the spot where the man had been but he was no longer there, you looked around, up and down the street, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Looking for something?" Jim asked, noticing how you were looking around wildly.

"No, no." You said quickly.

He raised his eyebrows at you but you flashed him a quick smile and changed the subject. But no matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop thinking about the mysterious man, which made you unusually quite as you ate lunch, you left most of the talking to Jim whilst you nodded along to show you were listening.

"Alright, what's up?" He asked, placing his sandwich down and looking at you seriously. "You're really quiet today, somethings obviously bothering you."

"I'm fine..." You said absentmindedly, you turned to face him and gave him another smile to reassure him, "...I saw a homeless man this morning."

Jim blinked at you and raised an eyebrow at the unusual statement.

"Yeah there are loads in New York." He said, picking his sandwich back up.

You shook your head, "No, this one was different."

"How?" He asked through a mouthful of bread.

"I don't know, he was sat outside the office and he just stared at me..." You said.

Jim shrugged, "He probably just had a thing for you, I wouldn't think on it too much. Are you going to finish that?"

You looked down at the half eaten muffin he was pointing to and handed it to him. 'I'm just overthinking it.' You thought.

"Hpmf loumph." A muffled noise came from Jim who had managed to stuff the muffin into his mouth and was filling his cheeks like a hamster. You laughed and put the thought of the scowling man on hold for the time being.


	2. Drain Covers and Heels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this homeless guy isn't as bad as he looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg thank you for the kudos and comments so far :D they made me very happy! Here is the next part for you beans

You had forgotten all about the homeless man up until the very next week.

The next time you saw him was in the evening as you were coming out of work. He was sat outside the office in the same spot wearing the same clothes. The sight of him caused you to slow down as you wondered whether there was some way of walking past him without him seeing you. You didn't fancy having him stare you down again and, naturally, you were wary of strange men, especially at night 

You decided you would walk past him as quickly as you could and hope he didn't recognise you. Well, that's what you planned to do, but as is often the case, it didn't go exactly how you thought it would.

You began to walk quickly past him, and you thought you were sure to make it without him spotting you, but as fate would have it the heel of your shoe got stuck in the hole of a drain cover.

"Damn it." You hissed quietly, whilst trying to pull your shoe free but it was well and truly stuck.

You glanced up at the homeless man to see if he had noticed your incident, which of course he had considering you were standing almost directly in front of him. He was watching as you struggled with your shoe and you felt your cheeks burning up. After a few minutes of useless pulling and muttered cursing you gave up and sighed, deciding you would just have to take your shoe off. You bent down to undo the buckle when you felt a hand grasp your ankle gently.

You gasped and looked around to see the homeless man there at your feet.

"What are you doing?" You asked in panic.

At first you tried to squirm free of his grip, but stopped in surprise when you saw that he was trying to free your shoe from the drain cover.

You watched him intently as he tried to dislodge your shoe with his gloved hands, you could feel your heart beating quickly and loudly in your chest and hoped he couldn't hear it too. After a while he sighed and unbuckled your shoe, freeing your foot, the skin his hand brushed over tingled in it's wake. You removed your foot and watched as he continued to battle with the shoe. After a minute or so he finally managed to pull it out, causing you to sigh in relief.

He stood and handed you the heel, you looked up at him to see him watching your expression intently, he was taller than you had anticipated and you felt a little intimidated under his stare.

"Um, thank you very much. I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't been here." You said laughing nervously and taking the heel from him.

You raised your foot to slip it back on but wobbled slightly. The man stuck his arm out for you to hold on to for balance and instinctively you grabbed onto it. You buckled the shoe up and let go of his arm.

"Thanks." You whispered again and gave him a small smile.

He didn't return it, simply nodded and watched you for a moment before sticking his hands back in his pockets. An awkward silence fell over you both.

"I'm gonna..." You said, gesturing to the pavement behind you to imply you were leaving now, you really weren't sure how to end your awkward interaction with him. He nodded again.

"Bye." You said quickly and began to walk away fast, being careful not to get stuck in any more drain covers and feeling his gaze burning into your back.

It was only later when you were falling asleep did you realise his arm had felt strangely cold.

~~~~~

The next time you saw him was a few days later, again he was in the exact same spot but this time you didn't feel the need to rush past him, he didn't seem as much of a threat as he did before. An idea struck you as you made yourself a coffee in the office kitchen and you pulled out a second cup, filling that one with coffee as well. You walked carefully down to the front of the building, careful not to spill a drop of the drink. Luckily he was still there when you went outside.

Taking a deep breath to work up the courage, you walked over to him and stood awkwardly besides him. He looked up as he saw you approach and you gave him a small smile.

"Fancy a coffee?" You asked, handing the drink out for him to take.

He looked from you to the cup and back again, eyeing both suspiciously. When he didn't make any movement to accept the drink you began to wonder if you'd made a mistake.

"Uh, consider it a thank you for when you helped me out of that drain cover." You said, feeling your cheeks burning up again, why must they always do that when you were talking to him?

A few moments passed until he finally reached out a hand and took the cup from you carefully.

"Thanks." He muttered, staring up at you.

You smiled again and slowly turned back around to go back inside. Glancing at him just as you were about to go in, you saw him sipping cautiously from the cup.

Over the course of the next few months you continued to bring him coffee whenever you saw him sitting outside the office, sometimes you brought him a muffin or doughnut from the little coffee shop as well, which he always accepted eagerly. You'd noticed he had been appearing in his spot more frequently, you often saw him up to four times a week.

He was a quiet one and never said much except 'thank you', in fact that's all you'd heard him say, you didn't even know his name. Nevertheless you attempted to strike up a conversation a few times by commenting on the weather or the latest news but he never replied, just nodded his head to show he was listening. He never seemed like he was in the mood to talk really but he always seemed grateful for the food and coffee. A few times you had sworn he was going to say something or at least give you a smile but it hadn't happened yet. Either way you were happy to bring him a drink and the odd doughnut, he looked like he needed feeding up a bit to be honest.

"You shouldn't keep going up to him like that y'know." Jim said one day after you'd come back from giving your new homeless friend a steaming cup of coffee and had had a one sided conversation about the latest gossip on Tony Stark.

"Why not?" You asked defensively, sitting down at your desk.

"You don't know if he's dangerous or not." He said.

He did have a point but he hadn't shown any signs of being a threat so far, despite the ominous look he had about him.

"Well I thought that at first but he seems alright." You shrugged, "He helped me when my shoe got caught in a drain cover."

Jim still didn't look convinced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're liking it so far lovelies :) i always appreciate a kudos or a comment <3


	3. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You haven't seen your homeless man in a while and you've began to wonder where he could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your coments and kudos my lovelies :D i can't tell you how happy i am to receive them. I hope you like this next part :3
> 
> WARNING: there is a mention of blood and a brief description of a fight, it's not too gory but i thought i'd let you know just in case.

You didn't think over Jim's words too much and decided you would keep bringing the man coffee. Though, strangely, you didn't see him at all for the next two weeks and you began to wonder what had happened to him or whether you had said something to drive him away.

But that was the least of your worries as you stepped out of your apartment to go out for a drink with a few new friends you had made in New York. Admittedly you had a few too many to drink, not too much because you still wanted to be able to make it home in one piece but enough to make the pavement blurry and your head feel light and fuzzy. You'd also decided to leave earlier than the rest of your friends and so had to make your way back to your apartment on your own.

You were going to walk as quickly as you could towards the main road where you would easily be able to hail a cab, but even the short walk to get there was frightening. It was pitch black, the only light came from a few street lamps, most of which were flickering ominously. 

You quickened your pace when you heard shouting from some nearby flats and held your keys firmly between your fingers ready to attack if you heard so much as a footstep. Unfortunately you heard a lot more than just a footstep.

As you came closer to the main road you heard someone talking down one of the alleyways leading off the road you were walking on. The voice was low and deep, obviously belonging to a man, and he didn't sound pleased. You couldn't make out what he was saying. Your pace slowed and you began to move cautiously, trying to make as little noise as possible. A second voice suddenly piped up, this one was even quieter but deeper and more threatening than the other.

Before you could work out what he was saying there came the sound of a sickening punch and then the unmistakable sounds of a fight taking place. You froze, not knowing what to do. You wanted to walk on but you were scared that they might hear or see you and turn on you instead. 

Not knowing what else to do you pressed yourself against the building wall so you were hidden in the shadows and decided to wait it out until they were gone. Your heart was beating so loudly it was a wonder the whole of New York couldn't hear it.

All of a sudden there was a terrible crunching noise then the sound of someone groaning and falling to the floor. The victorious man laughed low then walked swiftly out of the alleyway. You held your breath when you saw him and pressed yourself more firmly against the wall. He was a big man with a large build, he looked unscathed, though his knuckles were bleeding and sore. He walked off towards the direction of the main road.

A few moments passed as you wondered what you should do next, you could still hear quiet groaning coming from the man in the alleyway and you wondered whether you should help him. The most sensible thing to have done at this point would have been to go straight home and not meddle in anything that didn't concern you.

There was a particularly loud groan as you heard the man stand up. You decided to listen to the slightly less sensible part of your brain and see if he was ok.

You edged your way along the wall and stuck your head around the corner cautiously. The man was leaning against the alleyway wall, breathing heavily. His head was bent forwards so his brown hair hid his face. He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his black jacket and you saw a streak of blood left behind.

You immediately recognised him as your homeless man, but you weren't quick enough to muffle your gasp when the realisation hit you. He looked up quickly and saw you standing at the end of the alleyway staring at him in shock.

His face was bloodied and bruised. The beginnings of a black eye had already began to form and swell, his cheek was cut deep, his nose was bleeding over his lips and he was clutching his side and hunched over in pain.

You were both shocked to see each other, this was last person you had expected to see that night, you hadn't seen him anywhere other than the front of your office building before. It was strange seeing him in a different environment, not to mention, beaten practically to a pulp. You both stared wide eyed at each other for a moment, unsure of what to do, then he looked away quickly and his face returned to it's usual glare. He straightened up as much as he could, pushed himself from the wall, then began to limp forwards, his eyes fixed on the road behind you.

"Where are you going?" You asked as he walked past you without a second look.

He didn't reply, just continued to limp forwards towards the main road.

"Hey, I'm talking to you." The drinks from earlier seemed to have made you a little bolder and you walked after him, catching up to him easily.

He remained silent.

"You're hurt, you need to get to a hospital." You said, standing in front of him in an attempt to make him stop but he walked past you, barging into your shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave you alone like this until I get you to a-"

"I don't need a hospital." He snapped, turning to face you.

He was glaring menacingly at you, annoyed at your fussing. You hadn't noticed before but his voice was rough and hoarse as if he had damaged it through excessive shouting. After your initial shock of hearing him say a complete sentence that wasn't 'thank you' for the first time you glared straight back.

"I beg to differ." You said.

You were sure you almost heard him growl at that but he turned back around and began moving more quickly towards the road, despite how much pain he must've be in. You sighed and ran after him, grabbing his arm. He quickly pulled out of your grasp and took a few steps back. He looked at you as if you'd just punched him.

"What do you want? Just leave me alone." He said loudly.

His stubbornness did nothing but make you angry and frustrated but you decided you had to help him one way or another and if he wasn't going to go to a hospital then you'd have to do this yourself.

"If you refuse to go to a hospital then at least let me help you." You said.

He narrowed his eyes at you and you wondered if you were making a decision that you would seriously regret in the near future. When he continued to stare and not speak you gave a nervous cough.

"My apartment is not far from here, a quick cab ride away." You explained, not fully thinking about what you were saying, "I could help fix you up, otherwise those wounds are going to get infected and it's not going to be pleasant when they do."

He looked you up and down and you could see him seriously considering whether getting infected wounds would be easier than accepting your offer, then after a few awkward moments he nodded slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this part, it's a bit more intense than the parts before it but i assure you, the next part will be a lot fluffier :3 i appreciate a kudos or comment as always <3


	4. Metal Arm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've decided it's your responsibility to help the injured homeless man and take him back to your apartment to fix him up. Here's where you discover his name and a little about him, including what lies under that leather glove on his left hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos :D here's the next part for you

The journey to your apartment was one of the most awkward experiences of your life and you began to wonder why you had just agreed to let a stranger into your home.

You both remained completely silent for the duration of the cab ride. The man (who you still didn't know the name of) looked silently out of the window at the late night partiers, who were stumbling through the streets, and at the yellow cabs picking them up. You tried to focus on what was outside your window but you couldn't help but glance at the man every few seconds. The mystery around him was intensifying and you had a list of burning questions to ask. But you decided it wasn't the best time for questions now.

When you arrived, and led the man up the stairs to your apartment, you noticed him looking all around him cautiously the entire time as if expecting someone to jump out from every corner. When you opened your door and gestured for him to enter he stuck his head in and looked around before walking slowly over the threshold.

"Sit there on the sofa," you instructed, pointing to the sofa and throwing your coat on a peg, "and try not to get blood on anything."

You rushed into the kitchen, filled a bowl with warm water and pulled out a small first aid kit. You then rushed to your room for some cotton balls and headed back to the living room.

The man was sitting on the sofa but did not look in the least bit comfortable, he was sat rigidly and perched on the edge.

"Relax won't you? You're making me tense just looking at you." You said to him, placing your equipment on the coffee table.

He shuffled back slightly on the sofa but he remained rigid as ever. You then picked up the bowl and cotton balls.

"Turn to face me." You said, dipping one of the balls into the water.

He shifted slightly to face you and watched your every movement like a hawk. You raised your hand to his face to clean up the cut on his cheek but he flinched away and looked at it as if it were a weapon, not a piece of damp cotton.

"It won't hurt you. I'm just going to dab at the cut on your cheek, see." You said and demonstrated by dabbing it on your own cheek first.

You gave him a reassuring smile and he returned to his previous position cautiously. You made sure your movements were slow and precise so as not to startle him and that you were cleaning his cheek as lightly as possible so you wouldn't hurt him. He watched your hand the entire time, making sure you were doing exactly what you said you were going to do.

You managed to clean the cut and wipe the blood from his face without any further incident, though his breathing was heavy and his muscles tense. You checked his head over for any injuries but luckily there were none and he shook his head when you asked if he was feeling dizzy at all.

"Good. Now, take off your shirt." You said, moving your things back onto the coffee table.

He stared wide eyed at you.

"What?" He asked, sure he'd misheard, a slight blus rising on his cheeks.

"You've been clutching your side, you're obviously hurt." You explained, "And I can see that gash in your shoulder-"

"No." He said firmly but quietly and looked away from you.

"I need to see the damage if I'm going to help you." You said.

"No." He repeated a little louder.

"...Why?"

He didn't reply. He stared blankly ahead and didn't move a muscle, his shoulders rose up and down and his breathing was ragged, it was clear that he was in quite a lot of pain. The noises of a moonlit New York could be heard quietly in the background, a dog barking, the odd siren of a police car, the chattering of some people coming back from bars.

"What's your name?" You asked all of a sudden, breaking the silence.

He looked back at you sharply, his brow furrowed. You sat waiting for his answer but he continued to stare at you with those grey eyes for a few moments.

"I don't have one." He muttered finally, diverting his gaze again.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion, the more you spoke to this man the more curious you got.

"How can you not have a name? Everyone has a name." You said.

He sighed and stared intently down at his leather gloved hand. 

"I used to have one." He whispered, turning his hand over, palm side up, as if inspecting it.

"...What was it?" You asked, intrigued.

"Bucky Barnes." He said almost inaudibly.

"...Bucky Barnes." You echoed, testing it out for yourself.

He glanced up at you swiftly and nodded.

"Could I call you Bucky? It rolls of the tongue a lot easier than homeless man." You said, trying your best to make light of the situation.

He nodded again and you could've sworn you saw the corner of his mouth twitch as if he was going to smile. But he didn't.

"Great." You said happily, "Bucky, could you take off your shirt now?"

He turned to look at you again, with a scowl. 

"You haven't told me your name." He said accusingly.

"It's ______." You said with a small smile, holding your hand out for him to shake.

He seemed tentative about taking your hand but he did, albeit awkwardly.

"Your hand is freezing." You said in surprise, you could feel the coldness of it even through his leather gloves. All of a sudden you caught a small glimpse of what looked like metal in between the end of his sleeve and his glove.

"What's on your arm?" You asked quietly.

Before he could pull away fast enough you lifted up his sleeve slightly to take a look, there was some kind of metal attached to his arm. He pulled away as fast as he could and rolled his sleeve back down. Bucky clutched his left arm in his right hand and brought it up to his chest protectively. He stared at you, shocked at what you had done and scared about what you had seen. You looked back at him, mouth agape.

"Was that metal?" You whispered.

His expression changed to that of panic for a split second before he jumped up and headed straight for the door.

"Wait!" You called after him.

But you didn't need to try too hard to stop him, he was about a foot away from the door when he suddenly shouted out in pain and grabbed his side. He doubled over and his face screwed up. You rushed over and helped him walk slowly back inside the apartment towards the sofa, him groaning loudly all the way.

"What's wrong with me?" He asked through gritted teeth as you sat him back down as carefully as you could.

"I don't know unless you take off your hoodie." You replied, standing in front of him.

He glared up at you from under his lashes but you held your ground and stared right back, this lasted a few minutes before he finally sighed in defeat. With some difficulty, and many pained moans, he pulled the bottom of his hoodie up his torso and over his head to reveal a plain grey t-shirt underneath.

You gasped as soon as you saw it and took a few steps back, the back of your legs hitting the coffee table. The metal wasn't attached to his arm, it was his arm. An entire arm, all the way up to the shoulder made entirely of metal. It glinted in the light of the small lamp next to him and when he moved it slightly it made a soft whirring noise and you saw individual components of the metal move to suit the new position.

He turned his face away from you, and his arm, in shame when he saw how shocked you were.

"Your arm..." Was all you managed to say.

This made him sigh and lower his head so his hair fell in front of his eyes. You felt guilty then. He was ashamed of his metal arm, that must have been the reason he was so stubborn about not removing his hoodie. You looked at him for a moment before taking a small step away from the coffee table.

Slowly you moved forwards, closer towards his arm. You reached out a shaking hand and touched his forearm lightly. He gasped and turned to look at you, but didn't pull back.

Bucky watched with interest as you moved your fingers up his arm, over his bicep, feeling the coolness of the metal under your fingertips. Your fingers trailed to his metal shoulder and over the bright red star printed on the side.

"Where does it end?" You voiced your thought out loud, wondering if the mental continued under his t shirt.

After a moments of hesitation he sighed again and slowly removed his t-shirt as well, revealing his toned, if slightly underfed, torso and the scarring where the arm ended. You didn't know where to look without blushing. You brushed your fingers carefully over the scarring, it looked like it must have caused him a lot of pain once upon a time but now they were healed over in small pink lines. You felt his gaze move from your fingers to your face and felt your cheeks grow even warmer. His own cheeks had turned a slight pink.

This didn't look like anything a hospital would give to an amputee, it was far too advanced and detailed, you had a feeling that whoever gave Bucky this arm didn't intend for it to be used for good.

"Who made this?" You said, tearing your eyes away from his arm at last and looking up at him.

He turned away and remained silent, refusing to meet your gaze.

"Did it hurt-"

"My side still hurts." He interrupted you quickly.

You blinked at him then remembered why you had asked him to take off his hoodie in the first place, "Oh right, sorry." You said.

You decided to leave the questions for later and tried to concentrate instead on figuring out what was wrong with his side, though you couldn't help but glance at his arm once in a while, half amazed at it and half scared. You sat down on the sofa beside him again and got him to lift up his right arm so you had a clear view of the damage. There was bruising all up his side and along his ribs.

"This might hurt a little, I just need to make sure nothing's broken." You said.

He didn't protest so you continued.

You carefully lay a hand where his ribs were and began to feel around for any signs of broken bones. He clenched his hands into fists and he had a pained expression as you worked. You could see his stomach muscles clenching against the pain and you had to look away quickly before your eyes travelled up his torso again again. The area around his ribs felt swollen but there were no dents or protrusions. You took your hands away and felt slightly ashamed when you missed the feeling of his warm skin under your fingertips.

"Fortunately for you there aren't any broken bones, just some bruising." You said, getting up quickly and heading to the kitchen, "You'll just need to rest for a while."

You fished out an ice pack and a pack of peas from your freezer, wrapped them both in towels and brought them back over to Bucky. You held out the ice pack first.

"For your black eye." You explained.

He took it from you and pressed it against his eye as you handed him the bag of peas. He gave you a questioning look.

"I only have the one ice pack." You explained as he took that from you too.

Taking his hand, with the peas in, in yours you guided it down to his ribs where the bruising was. He winced at first but didn't loosen his grip on the substitute ice pack.

You took a step back and looked at him. He looked back up at you and you had to stifle a giggle at the ridiculous sight before you. A homeless man with a metal arm was sitting on your sofa with a bag of peas pressed against his ribs, this really wasn't how you expected your evening to turn out.

"What now?" He asked.

"Stay like that." You said, picking up the equipment you had used, from the coffee table.

He frowned, "For how long?" He asked, watching you.

"As long as it takes to stop the swelling, which I'm guessing is a good few hours." You said, walking into the kitchen.

You set the things in your arms down and grabbed an aspirin and a glass of water.

"Take this." You said, offering him them as you walked back to the sofa.

He stared at the small tablet in the palm of your hand and backed up slightly, away from it.

"Why?!" He loudly demanded to know.

"Shh! Have you any idea what time it is? If you wake the neighbours you can be the one to apologise." You said and he looked a little taken aback then.

You sighed, "It's an aspirin, it'll help with the pain."

Bucky still didn't look convinced and continued to glare at it for a moment.

"Well, it's up to you if you want to take it." You said, putting the glass of water and the tablet on the coffee table. "It'll help though."

He managed to tear his eyes away from it once you'd set it down and he looked back up at you. There was an awkward silence as he waited for you to say something.

"I don't usually take strangers into my home." You said, wringing your hands nervously, "But seeing as how you look half beaten to death and pretty helpless...you can stay on the sofa tonight...if you like."

He didn't say anything or make any movement as to acknowledge what you had just said, he simply continued to stare up at you. He still looked a little suspicious but not so much as he had been, which pleased you.

"Well, it's late so...I'm probably just going to go to bed." You said, taking a few steps back, towards your room. 

He finally nodded. "Goodnight." He said.

You looked at him a little shocked, he himself looked shocked that he had bid you goodnight. You cleared your throat nervously.

"Goodnight." You replied, giving him him a small smile and walked quickly off to your bedroom, shutting the door behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're still enjoying it :D


	5. Omelettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after you brought Bucky back to your apartment and fixed him up. Time for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the kudos and comments :D i really appreciate them! <3

'Well, you've really done it now haven't you?' You thought to yourself when you woke the next morning, 'How drunk were you last night that you let a homeless man with a metal arm, a metal arm for gods sake, sleep on your sofa?'

You had woken up that morning with a feeling of uneasiness you just couldn't quite put your finger on. It was only when you had stepped out of your bedroom door and glanced in the living room to see Bucky lying on your sofa had you remembered everything that had happened the night before. Subsequently you had dashed back into your room and closed the door firmly behind you and was now leaning against it.

'Why did you let this happen?' You thought, angry at yourself, 'For all you know he could be a murderer or a psycho, just because you brought him coffees and doughnuts doesn't mean you know him!'

You put your head in your hands, "I'm so stupid." You muttered.

Just then you heard movement coming from the living room. You finally decided you couldn't stay in your bedroom forever and would have to face Bucky at one point. Opening the door, you began to make for the living room. Then accidentally collided with Bucky in the hallway.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry." You said quickly, taking a few steps back and taking in his appearance.

He was wearing his t shirt and hoodie again and he had probably stuffed his cap into his pocket after the fight for he was now wearing it as he usually did, pulled low so his face was half lost in shade, though you could tell the swelling around his eyes had gone down a little. You stood there awkwardly staring at him for a moment, trying to figure out what he was doing, evidentially your brain hadn't quite woken up yet. He stared down at you as you tried to think of what to say.

"What are you doing?" You asked finally.

"I'm going now." He said a little awkwardly and made a move to walk past you.

You stood in his way which surprised both you and him.

"You were just going to leave without saying goodbye?" You said, you don't know why but the fact he was just going to slink away without so much as another word made you pretty sad.

"I left a note." He mumbled and tried to move past you again, this time succeeding and heading straight for the front door.

You watched him for a moment then you suddenly wished he wouldn't leave, that he'd stay here with you for a while longer, which was certainly a surprise seeing as only a few seconds ago you had contemplated him being a murderer. But you thought about eating breakfast alone and being the only one in the apartment and the idea of it seemed incredibly lonely without him there. 

Maybe you'd come to consider him as a friend after all? Or maybe you had just lost it. Either way he didn't look like a murderer right now, the pale morning light streaming in from the window seemed to soften his expression and his, usually harsh, appearance.

"Stay for breakfast?" You asked quickly before you could change your mind, as soon as Bucky's hand came to rest on the front door handle.

He paused and looked round at you.

"I can make a great omelette." You smiled at him, waiting for his answer.

He turned to face the door and for a moment you thought he was really going to leave before he turned back to face you with a quiet sigh.

"Fine." He said, stuffing his hands in his pockets again.

It was hard to make sure you didn't beam back at him at his decision to stay, that may have been enough to scare him away, so you gestured for him to follow you into the kitchen.

He sat on one of the chairs next to the tiny table in your kitchen, he sat sideways on it so his back was against the wall, giving him a full view of the kitchen and the advantage to watch your every move as you made him and yourself an omelette. Feeling his eyes practically burning into your back as you cooked was more than a little nerve wracking and it made you ten times clumsier than usual, meaning you dropped about three things on the floor and nearly dropped the entire egg carton when you nearly tripped over your own feet.

Finally though you managed to make the omelettes without breaking anything and you placed them both on the little table. You sat down opposite Bucky and began to tuck in but you noticed quickly that he wasn't eating, more like inspecting it with his knife and fork and occasionally sniffing it.

"It's not poisoned." You laughed, "Eat up."

He narrowed his eyes at you for a moment then cut off the tiniest portion ever and carefully began to chew it. When he realised it wasn't in fact poisoned he began to eat properly.

"So, are you going to tell me what the fight was about?" You said, as casually as you could, but Bucky still froze up.

He shook his head mechanically and stared down at his plate.

"Was it a fight?...Or did he just beat you up? Because the guy looked unscathed." You said, your curiosity peaking and the casual act you were trying to achieve falling away as quickly as it had came.

"I didn't want to hurt him." He mumbled and cut off a bigger portion of the omelette and shoved it in his mouth.

You blinked at him, that hadn't been the answer you were expecting. You remembered his metal arm then and realised he could have done some serious damage to the man with only one punch.

"What about your arm?" You asked, unable to stop yourself.

He tightened his grip slightly on his knife and fork and refused to look up at you, continuing to chew silently.

"It's made entirely of metal. I've never seen one like it before." You said, your omelette completely forgotten about as you tried to get some answers out of him.

He remained silent and you quickly took that as a hint to stop questioning him about his arm, it was clear it was a touchy subject. You went back to eating your omelette in silence.

"Oh!" You said suddenly, making Bucky jump, "I forgot to get the drinks, what would you like? Coffee?"

You stood up and walked over to the kettle, as you filled it with water you realised Bucky hadn't answered you. You turned your head to see him staring back curiously, he had a look of concentration on his face as if he was trying to figure something out.

"Or I have tea if you prefer?" You said, trying to ignore his gazing and pressing the button on the kettle to bring it to boil.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, completely puzzled.

You sat back down at the table and raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Doing what?" You asked.

He continued to give you that same curious look.

"Being...nice." He said, the word almost seemed foreign on his lips.

You blinked at him but before you could answer he went on.

"You bring me coffee, you talk to me, you let me into your home, you fixed me up and then let me sleep on your sofa. Why?" He said.

You really weren't sure how to answer him, you opened your mouth a few time to say something but no words came out. The truth was...it was...to be perfectly honest you didn't know why you were doing this, maybe it was because you had been feeling lonely since leaving your family behind? God, why couldn't you just get a dog like a normal person.

"Well..." You managed at last, "You helped me free my shoe from that drain cover."

You laughed nervously and smiled at him but he remained stone faced.

"You just looked like you needed a bit of help." You smiled at him, "And I couldn't exactly leave you to wander off after getting half beaten to death."

His expression softened slightly at that. Just then the kettle came to the boil and you got up to pour the drinks.

"How are you feeling today anyway?" You asked, stirring the drinks.

"Better." He said and you turned to see the corner of his mouth twitched up into a kind of smile, he looked as though he was unused to smiling but he had all the evidence on his face of once being a very smiley person and you couldn't help but think smiling suited him. You turned your attention back to the coffee quick so your cheeks wouldn't start burning again.

After you'd eaten breakfast and sipped your coffee quietly together Bucky decided he was going to leave. This time you didn't protest but still you walked him to the door and said goodbye.

"Bucky?" You said, just as he had begun to walk away.

He turned back and looked at you.

"You're um..." You shuffled your feet slightly, thinking how best to word your thoughts, "You're welcome back here whenever you like, y'know for coffee or a bite to eat or...medical attention. I promise I won't ask so many questions next time..."

You smiled nervously at him and he looked a little taken aback but nodded his head nonetheless.

"Thank you." He said, then walked away down the corridor. You watched him until he was out of sight.

As you walked back inside and into the living room you saw he had taken the aspirin and there was indeed a note left there next to the empty glass where a rather messy 'Thank you' had been scrawled out with a biro. You smiled and took the note into your hands.


	6. S.H.I.E.L.D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're growing closer to Bucky, you may even go as far as to say you were becoming friends, though he's still holding back and he still remains a mystery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos :3 i hope you enjoy this next part <3

You really didn't expect Bucky to take you up on your offer, in fact you'd thought he'd forgotten all about it after a week without hearing so much as a whisper from him. Surprisingly enough though Bucky hadn't forgotten and he turned up next Sunday evening outside your apartment building looking nervous and slightly out of place.

You welcomed him in with a smile, trying your best to make him feel more comfortable which seemed to be working a little bit. You shared your Sunday dinner with him, which he seemed apprehensive about at first, but after you had insisted it was fine and that you'd made too much anyway he happily dug into the food.

This arrangement continued for a month at least. Bucky would come round mainly in the evenings. You would provide him with a hot meal and offer him the sofa to sleep on for the night. He always looked slightly guilty about the fact that you were helping him out so much and that he had nothing to offer you in return, but he always took over the washing up duty and made sure to tidy up after himself, leaving no trace of him behind once he had left the apartment. 

You tried to tell him it wasn't necessary to help clean up but you stopped trying to persuade him after a while, especially seeing as the sight of him in marigold washing up gloves was too funny to give up. This happened around twice a week and it was always nice to see him because each time he looked a little happier and healthier and he hadn't managed to get himself into any more scrapes yet.

You developed a friendship of sorts with him and although he still hardly said anything, he was coming out of his shell more and more. Some of his behaviour seemed odd though especially when you caught him one day staring at the remote control as if it were something completely foreign to him.

"What are you doing?" You had asked him that evening.

"What is this for?" He asked, scowling at the remote.

You watched him for a moment, unsure of whether he was joking or not, but you had never known him to joke before and he looked quite serious.

"It's the remote for the tv." You said slowly, watching him.

"The tv is that thing isn't it?" He asked, pointing to the tv.

"Uh yeah." You replied, eyebrows raised.

You watched in amusement as he began to press random buttons, trying to turn the tv on. You smiled and walked over to sit besides him, you felt him tense up a bit at that but you continued on as if you hadn't noticed.

"You press that red button to turn it on." You said, pointing to it.

He looked at you from out of the corner of his eye and pressed it cautiously. After a few moments the tv turned on and a cooking show began blasting around the living room. Bucky blinked at it in something akin to amazement and began to press random buttons again. The channel switched to a reality show and the volume was raised higher. He continued this for a while and you decided to leave him to it, though you were throughly confused as to why he was so in awe.

Bucky also seemed to have developed a liking for your cat, Rufus, at first he was nervous around him and looked practically terrified when he had rubbed against Bucky's leg but he decided quickly that he wasn't a threat and often he would sit on the sofa stroking Rufus. That was one of the only times you saw him smile, even if it was only a small smile.

Sometimes you would see him around New York, at the mall or the coffee shop mainly, and you would wave him over or walk up to him and start chatting. (You noted that he seemed even more nervous when he was talking to you in public and would look around him frantically, almost as if he were looking for something). 

On rare occasions you would even stroll around together or sit at a little table in a coffee shop, looking outside at the people walking past. He was slowly getting better with conversation, sometimes he would comment on the weather or a person walking past and he would always look pleased when you agreed or smiled back at him.

Bucky had somehow worked his way into your life, your weekly routine, and you didn't mind in the slightest. He was good company mostly and he seemed to enjoy your presence as much as you enjoyed his. There were some things that still bothered you though, questions that you had that needed to be answered. 

He never talked about his arm, or the fight, or his past and you decided not to bring them up in fear of upsetting him, but you couldn't deny all those things intrigued you beyond measure and it was almost torture trying to keep your curiosity from him. You noticed he never revealed his arm in public no matter how hot it was outside, which was understandable seeing as he may be prone to more than a few stares if he did.

One day though, as you were sitting in the living room with him watching some tv show he seemed fond of, you couldn't resist the urge to question him, just a little. You decided you would try and be as tactful as possible.

"What happened to your arm?" You said...apparently being tactful wasn't a skill you had and you blushed at how blunt that sounded out loud, it had been a lot better in your head.

Bucky stopped stroking Rufus and turned to look at you. You watched him intently from your place curled up on the armchair.

"I don't want to talk about that." He said simply and turned his attention back to the tv.

"Ok." You said, you could respect that but it wasn't going to stop you from asking different questions. "Could you tell me what that fight was about?" You asked cautiously, sitting up a little, eager to hear his response.

"What fight?" He mumbled, playing dumb.

"You know which one." You said with a sigh.

"There's nothing to say about it." He said, scowling at the tv.

"Well, what about your name? You said Bucky is what people used to call you, what does that mean?" You asked, unable to hold back your curiosity anymore and sitting on the edge of your seat, staring at him.

"I don't want to talk about that either." He said through gritted teeth.

"Why not?" You asked and you knew you were pushing your luck now.

"Why do you want to know? Why are you asking me this?" He said, turning his head sharply to face you. He had stopped stroking Rufus and was sat rigidly, the muscle in his jaw tensed.

"I'm just curious." You said, "I know nothing about you, I want to know what happened-"

"No you don't." He cut in, raising his voice slightly and clenching his hands into fists, "Stop questioning me."

"You're hurt Bucky." You replied, leaning forwards in your seat, "I want to help. I want to know what happened that made you like this-"

"STOP!" He shouted suddenly, standing up, "Quit asking me questions! Quit trying to pry into my life, it has nothing to do with you-"

A knock came from the door and resonated around the apartment, cutting Bucky off swiftly. He looked towards the door in horror.

You paused for a second and then got up.

"That's probably the neighbours telling you to stop shouting." You said, frowning at him, but he wasn't paying attention to you, his eyes were fixed firmly on the door.

You shook your head at him and walked to the door, you opened it expecting to see the old lady who lived down the hall, it wasn't her though. A man stood there dressed in a sharp suit, he looked down at you seriously as you gawped up at him.

"Hello ma'am is Mr Barnes in?" He asked, peering inside the apartment.

Luckily you'd only opened the door enough to see who it was and Bucky was hidden from his view, your heart still sped up though.

"Mr Barnes?" You asked, trying to sound as inconspicuous as possible. "No, there is no Mr Barnes here, I live on my own, unless you count my cat Rufus but-"

"Mind if we take a look?" He said and flashed you a card with the S.H.I.E.L.D logo with the name Agent Phil Coulson printed by the side of it.

"Who's we?" You asked.

The words had barely left your lips before Coulson signalled to someone out of your view and twenty S.H.I.E.L.D agents, all kitted out in what looked like riot gear, came barging past you and pouring into your apartment.

"Wait! You can't just barge in here!" You shouted, but unsurprisingly they paid not attention to you.

They separated into groups and began to invade every room of your home. Coulson came in after them and stood next to you as you watched in horror, rooted to the spot.

"We shall need to take you in for questioning Miss ______." He said cooly.

"I don't understand what's happening!" You protested, getting angrier and more confused with every second, despite how terrified you were of what was going to happen.

The next moment you heard an almighty crash come from the living room. You sprinted in and gasped when you saw a man go hurling across the room and crashing into your sideboard.

Bucky was standing against the wall trying to fight off the men who were coming at him from all angles, there was no way he'd be able to take out all of them but he was putting up a hell of a fight. He was using his left arm, his metal one, to knock them out and throw them across the room. He looked completely distressed and suddenly you became furious that these people had not only barged into your home but were trying to detain your innocent friend who was clearly terrified of them. You tried not to get crushed as more S.H.I.E.L.D agents came pouring in and somehow you managed to work your way to where Bucky was.

"STOP!" You shouted, running in front of Bucky and spreading your arms out in an attempt to protect him. 

You could hear Bucky panting breathlessly behind you, could feel his hot breath against the back of your neck and, although you were equally as scared of these men as he was, you stood your ground. You thought it had worked for a split second for the men had stopped trying to attack Bucky but then you felt something sharp hit your leg, making you cry out.

Looking down, you saw a dart protruding from your thigh. You attempted to pull it out but suddenly found your arms were too weak and that your legs could no longer support you.

You heard someone say your name but it was far off and quiet as if you were hearing them from under water. The room span before your eyes and you stumbled a little before crumpling heavily to the ground. You tried and tried to get back up but none of your limbs seemed to be responding to your commands.

You felt someone kneel beside you and turn you so you were on your back looking up at them. Bucky's grey eyes and frightened expression came into view and you could see from his mouth that he was calling your name, but you couldn't hear him at all now. You tried to reply but you quickly realised it was impossible in your current state. The next second he was being pulled away from you and you noticed he had a dart like yours sticking out of his side. The last thing you saw were Bucky's eyelids growing heavy. Then suddenly you were asleep.


	7. Bright Cells and Burning Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of S.H.I.E.L.D barging into your home and knocking you out. You wake up in a bright cell with a pounding headache and a heart full of fear. You wonder what they have done to Bucky and reluctantly agree to answer some of Coulson's questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the comments and kudos :D i hope you enjoy this next chapter. It's slightly longer than the others and there is a real cheesy bit that i didn't know whether to keep in but i find it funny so here it is lol

Your head pounded horribly when you awoke, and the bright lights in the room didn't help. Reaching up a hand, you massaged your temple and kept your eyes firmly closed.

Without even having to try, everything rushed back to you. You sat up suddenly and your eyes flew open. The room you were in was small and grey but brightly lit by the lights on the ceiling, you looked up at them then winced and rubbed your eyes. You felt your panic levels rising rapidly and your heart began beating out a fast rhythm in your chest.

"What the hell is happening?" You asked out loud, but no one replied.

You began to look around again, now that your eyes were slowly coming into focus, and saw a security camera in the corner of the room. You glared at it before standing up and stumbling over to the door, expecting it to be open. It was locked.

"What?" You whispered out loud in confusion.

You tried to push the door but knew it was no use. After looking around the room quickly, and finding no other means of escape, you decided you were going to have to call out for help, after all you were going to find out who your captures were sooner or later and there was no point just sitting here mulling everything over till you went crazy.

"Hello?" You said, barely above a whisper.

You knocked on the door and looked into the security camera.

"Can you hear me?" You said, a little louder, "What's happening?"

You began to knock a little louder and when still no one responded you began to feel even more panicked, afraid that you would locked up in there for god knows how long and that you'd never be set free.

"Answer me! Let me out!" You began to shout, your breathing coming out in short shallow breaths and your knocking turning to frantic banging.

Before you could utter another word you heard footsteps coming down the corridor outside of your door. You froze and listened carefully, taking a few steps back from the door as quietly as you could. You began to regret making so much noise, what if they were going to punish you now? 

The footsteps stopped outside of your door and you heard the soft beep of a machine before the doors began to slide open slowly. You took a few more steps backwards and felt tears prickle your eyes, you quickly blinked them away, whatever happened you were not going to cry in front of these people!

The man who had first knocked on the door of your apartment was stood there, Phil Coulson you remembered was his name, with two other serious looking men either side of him. He smiled kindly at you which just made you all the more confused.

"How are you feeling?" Phil asked, taking a step forwards.

You took another one back and found that your back was now pressed against the wall. He seemed to notice your nervousness because he didn't take another step, just continued to look at you, waiting for your answer.

"I don't understand what's happening." You said quietly, looking cautiously at the two burly men, expecting them to attack you at any moment.

"Everything will be explained." He said, the smile never fading from his lips, "If you are feeling like you are able, we would like to ask you a few questions."

"Why did you put me in this cell?" You asked, frowning at him slightly.

"It was just a safety precaution, we weren't sure how you would react when you woke up." Coulson explained shortly, not going any further into it than that, as if knocking people out and sticking them in cells was completely normal to him, "We would like to take you for questioning now." He pressed on.

"What are you going to ask me?" You said, taking a small step forwards.

"We need to ask you a few questions about Mr Barnes." He explained, the smile had been replaced with a stern, serious look now.

"Bucky?" You said, then your face contorted in anger when you remembered what they had done to him, "Where is he? What have you done?"

"As I said, everything will be explained." Coulson sighed, sounding a little tired of having to repeat himself.

You frowned at him for a few seconds. The only way out of this, as far as you could see, would be to cooperate, then they would surely let you and Bucky go and explain everything that had happened, right? You hated that there was no other option, the last thing you wanted to do was cooperate with one of the men responsible for barging into your home and drugging you up, then shoving you in a cell and refusing to answer any of your questions. Your blood boiled the more you thought it over but finally you sighed and nodded your head.

"Fine." You said shortly.

Phil nodded to one of the men and they walked towards you with a pair of handcuffs. Before you found the right words to protest they were clasped tight around both of your wrists.

"Another safety precaution?" You asked, finding that your new found anger made you a bit bolder.

"I'm afraid so." Phil replied and walked out of the room.

The two agents each grabbed one of your upper arms and practically pulled you along with them, down the corridor. They took you up a lift, along more corridors and through more doors than you could keep up with, occasionally passing a few people who looked at you suspiciously.

"I don't know why I'm being treated like this, I haven't done anything wrong." You protested, squirming slightly in the agent's firm grasps.

You didn't get a reply, which only frustrated you further.

Finally you came to the door which led into a small room containing a desk, two chairs and a mirror. It was lit as brightly as your little grey cell had been but your eyes seemed to be getting used to the brightness now. The agents released their hold on you and removed one of the cuffs on your wrist. They sat you down in one of the chairs by the desk non too softly and attached the free end of the cuffs to the table.

"You can leave us now." Coulson instructed them, taking the seat opposite you.

They left swiftly, leaving you both alone in the deadly silent room. Phil looked at you and you held his gaze for a while before giving in and looking around the room nervously. Your eyes fell on the giant two way mirror to your left.

"Who's watching us?" You asked, nodding towards it.

"That's not important." He said calmly.

You looked back at him. The handcuffs jangled annoyingly every time you moved.

"This is ridiculous." You mumbled quietly enough so Phil couldn't hear, "You will tell me what is happening afterwards won't you?"

"I'll tell you as much as you need to know." He said, smiling at you again.

You scowled at him, his vague answers were making you angrier and more confused. Before you could ask what he meant though he asked you his first question.

"Where did you meet Mr Barnes?"

You blinked at him.

"Just...outside the office, I don't know why you are so interested in hi-"

"Did you approach him or did he approach you?" He cut in quickly.

You could feel more than just his eyes on you and shifted uncomfortably at the feeling.

"Well...he did, I mean I did, I -I don't know, we just started talking." You said, noticing him narrow his eyes slightly at you.

"How?" He asked simply.

"He helped me free my shoe from a drain cover."

Phil looked surprised at that, "He did?"

You nodded. You noticed him glance towards the mirror, then look back at you.

"Is that how you started talking?" He asked.

"I guess."

He continued to ask you questions about Bucky, when had you started letting him in your apartment? Did you know about his arm? Did you know who he was?

"Listen," you said at last after the millionth question, you were getting tired of them now and wanted to ask him some questions of your own, "I don't know who he is really, or anything about his past and frankly I'm too scared to even mention the arm, but I know he's a nice man and that he looked lonely, like he needed a bit of...company, so I gave it to him."

"Company?" Phil repeated slowly, he studied you then leaned in slightly, "Miss (L/n), are you implying that you had...sexual relations with Mr Barnes?"

Your jaw hung open at his question and your cheeks burned up bright red.

"Oh, no! God no!" You said firmly, shaking your head, "I-It was nothing like that! I just meant I talked to him, I tried to be a friend, I didn't mean..."

You stopped talking when you felt your cheeks becoming even hotter and refused to look Coulson in the eye.

"Ok, I'm sorry I just had to make sure." He said, sounding a bit embarrassed himself.

An awkward silence followed and when you finally managed to look up at Coulson again he was mouthing something to the people behind the mirror. When he noticed you watching he stopped abruptly and cleared his throat.

You decided you'd had enough of this, you had cooperated now it was his turn to answer your questions.

"Can you tell me why I'm here now?" You asked, exasperated, "And what you've done with Bucky? and why you barged into my home? And why you drugged me! I could sue for this you know-"

You were interrupted by someone barging noisily into the room, it seemed like you couldn't finish a sentence around here without someone cutting in. The person rude enough to interrupt you was tall and blond and looked angry as hell about something, you squinted at him, his face looked familiar.

"What do you want with Bucky?" He asked you coldly.

You blinked up at him, completely confused by now, this was just adding more questions to your list.

"What?" You asked.

"Captain Rogers, please step outside." Coulson said sternly, standing up.

You suddenly realised where you had seen him before, it was Captain America. This was just getting ridiculous now, you needed answers.

"Not until she tells me everything. She has to tell me what she wants with him." He said, pointing to you.

You looked from Phil to the Captain and frowned at him. He was glaring right back, his chest heaving with anger he tried his best to hold back. A few other people appeared at the doorway as well, a man and a woman, the man was black with short dark hair and looked like he wanted nothing more than to pull the Cap back out of the room. The woman had fiery red hair and was holding back the man to stop him interrupting.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" You said loudly.

"Who do you work for?" He asked dangerously quietly. "Is it Hydra?"

The others turned to look at you then, even Phil stopped protesting against him being in the room and focused his attention on you, waiting for your reaction.

"I work in an office in Manhattan, I sell paper for a living. I've never heard of a company called Hyrda and I have no idea what I'm doing here quite frankly!" You began to raise your voice again, extremely irritated about everything you'd been through in the last few hours and not caring too much about what the consequences of your outburst would be, "I'm assuming you drugged and kidnapped me which is...outrageous in itself and then you handcuff me, shout at me, and treat me like some sort of criminal! Well, I've had enough, I demand to know what is going on and what you have done with Bucky!"

You breathed heavily and only realised you had stood up at some point after you'd finished speaking. The strangers looked at you, a little bit shocked. A few seconds, that felt more like an eternity, passed before anyone said anything.

"That is what her file says about her." Phil spoke up, "I thought it might have been a cover story though."

"Why would I need a cover story?" You asked, but no one answered.

"I don't understand." Steve said quietly, the anger in him apparently had subsided now that he realised you didn't work for Hydra, whoever they were, "If you don't work for Hydra then what do you want with Buck?"

You frowned in confusion, "I...don't want anything with him, I'm just his friend."

Steve and the others looked surprised to hear you say that, which you found odd. There was an awkward silence in which Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, regretting shouting at you now he believed you weren't a threat.

"He's my friend too." He whispered.

"Really? He's never mentioned you." You said, confused as to why Bucky hadn't told you he was friends with Captain America.

Steve looked throughly hurt then, as if you'd just punched him in the gut, and he turned away from you, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at the floor. You couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

"Wait. If you're his friend why are you on the side of the people who kidnapped him?" You asked Steve whilst pointing to Phil.

"It was agreed that it was the best way to handle the situation." Phil said.

You scoffed at that and shook your head, "I want to see him to make sure he really is ok." You said suddenly.

Steve looked up at you again and him and Phil exchanged a look you couldn't decipher.

"Bucky is perfectly safe-" Phil started to explain.

"I want to see him." You repeated, straightening up.

"It can't do much harm." The woman with the red hair said, she had let go of her grip on the other man. They had been so quiet you had forgotten they were both there. "Maybe it'll help calm him if he sees a familiar face."

"Perhaps." Phil mused. "What do you think Captain?"

Steve looked you up and down and you struggled not to fidget nervously under the gaze.

"If you think it will help." He mumbled at last.

Phil nodded and freed the handcuff from your wrist.

"I'm trusting you here, don't make me regret it." He said.

"I don't know what you expect me to do." You answered honestly, you had seemed to have regained your courage after your outburst and felt less nervous now you knew Captain America was involved in this, he was meant to be one of the good guys right?...Even if he had shouted at you.

"Follow me, I'll show you to Mr Barnes." He said, then nodded to the red head and the man who nodded back and came up behind you, Steve lagging at the back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always appreciate any comments or kudos :3 <3


	8. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally discover the truth about Bucky and why you have been kidnapped by S.H.I.E.L.D. And now you're not sure why you wanted to know in the first place...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for the comments and kudos :D they always make my week haha

Phil led you yet again down countless corridors, with stern looking agents walking down each one, until you came to the corridor that led to Bucky's room. It was a lot brighter than the rest of the building and had much higher security. Around fifteen guards had been placed down there, all carrying dangerous looking weapons and guns, ready to attack at the slightest sign of a threat. You eyed their imposing figures, afraid that one of them might mistake you for a threat and turn on you.

"Why are there so many guards?" You asked Coulson, "These can't all be for Bucky."

"I'm afraid so." He said, matter of factly. "He has been very aggressive since the moment he woke up, we can't risk anything going wrong."

"It's no wonder he's being aggressive." You said, annoyed, "What did you expect him to behave like after treating him like a criminal?"

Unsurprisingly, he didn't reply to that. You scoffed at him. He came to a stop besides a metal door and placed his hand on a black screen besides it. It scanned his hand and with a small beep the door swung open. You all entered the room together and you gasped at what you saw.

You were in a small room connecting to Bucky's cell, a layer of thick glass allowed you to see into his room. He was sat hunched in a corner, the contents of the room had been turned over or smashed and several dents could be seen in the walls and the door. His hair hung about his face so you couldn't see his expression, though you could see he was breathing heavily by the rise and fall of his shoulders.

"What is this?" You asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"Why are we standing in this room watching him like he's some sort of wild animal?" You asked in disgust, turning to look at them all accusingly.

"It's the safest way to monitor his behaviour." Phil explained.

"It's horrible." You replied, "You can't treat another human being like this, especially an innocent one."

"Y/n." Steve said calmly, walking over to you, "I don't like this any more than you do but...Phil is right, it is the safest way-"

"I want to go in." You interrupted him.

"You can't." Coulson replied. "It isn't safe."

You let out a bitter laugh at that.

"Not safe?! Bucky is my friend, now let me go in and speak to him."

"You don't know what he is capable of." He said.

You turned to look at Bucky, he made no acknowledgement of you being there, you supposed he couldn't hear or see you behind the glass.

You turned to glare at Coulson, "You said you'd let me talk to him, now open the door."

Surprised at your own boldness you continued to stare at them all, fists clenched, determined not to back down. You had to speak to Bucky, you needed to make sure he was alright.

"I'm starting to like her." The red haired woman said with a smirk.

The rest of them exchanged nervous glances but eventually Phil nodded and sighed in defeat.

"On your head be it." He said with a sigh.

He led you back outside into the corridor. Then to the door that led directly into Bucky's cell. Phil raised his hand to place it on the scanner but stopped mid-air.

"If there's any sign of trouble I'm sending in back up." He said seriously.

You nodded in agreement. You watched as he unlocked the door and pushed it open just enough for you to slip inside. It was then you had to admit you started feeling nervous, though you knew you had no reason to be. You slipped inside the room, the door closing immediately behind you. You looked towards the mirror where you knew the others would be watching you, but only saw the insides of the half destroyed room reflecting back.

Bucky looked up slowly and his expression turned to one of shock when he saw you stood there rigidly, a sympathetic look on your face.

"Y/n." He whispered, his voice hoarse.

You took a few cautious steps forwards and could almost feel the stares of the others behind the mirror burning into your back. Bucky stood up quickly, his back still pressed against the wall. The silence between you was deafening.

"Are you alright Bucky?" You asked softly, taking a few more steps.

"Did they hurt you?" He asked in reply, ignoring your question.

He took a few quick steps forward then and looked you up and down, checking for injuries.

"No, no, I'm fine." You reassured him, "I have no idea what is happening though and no one seems to want to tell me anything."

He looked away from you then and almost looked guilty. You raised your eyebrows at him and took another step forwards until you were within touching distance.

"What is it Bucky?" You asked, cautiously placing a hand on his forearm. "Do you know why we're here?"

He looked at where your hand was resting on his forearm and stared at it sadly.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, taking you by surprise, "They must have thought you were a threat, part of Hydra maybe...I didn't want you to get involved."

"Involved in what? Buck, tell me what's happening." You pressed, now desperate to find out what apparently everyone else but you knew.

"You'll hate me if I tell you." He said thickly, then swallowed back a lump in his throat and walked away from you, to the other side of the room.

"I need to know." You said, you were growing slightly impatient but tried to keep it hidden behind a steady, calm voice, "Who were those men? What do they want? Why did they kidnap us?"

Bucky stared down at his feet, you thought he wasn't going to reply at all until he sighed and began to speak so quietly it was almost inaudible.

"I've done some terrible things."

"What?...Like what?" You asked, though you weren't sure whether you wanted to hear the answer.

"Do you remember a while back, Helicarriers over DC fell out of the sky?"

"Yes, it was all over the news...why?"

"I was caught up in that." He confessed, his voice cracking, "I killed, I attacked, I destroyed. I hurt so many people."

You stared at him in shock and shook your head in disbelief. He refused to meet your gaze.

"Why?" You managed to say at last.

"That's what I was programmed to do." He stated simply. "I was...brainwashed to become a killing machine." He spat the last two words as if they caused a nasty taste in his mouth, "They-Hydra gave me this arm...S.H.I.E.L.D tried coming after me, I lost them for a while but I risked everything becoming friends with you, and they caught up with me."

He turned to look at you and you saw the tears welling in his eyes, his face crumpled up as he did his best not to cry. You really didn't know how to respond to that. Your own eyes were welling with tears and you found you couldn't do anything but stand there gaping at him. He'd said that word again, Hydra. You still didn't know what it meant but you had a good idea by now that they weren't one of the good guys. At least you now knew that the people who had kidnapped you were shield.

"You killed all those people?" You choked out, taking a step backwards.

A flicker of hurt and panic crossed across Bucky's face and he took a step towards you.

"I-I didn't know-that wasn't me!" He tried to explain. "I began to remember who I was when I saw-I saw a familiar face and I stopped."

"You stopped? Then why have they brought you here?" You asked.

"I don't know." He whispered.

Another silence slipped over you as you tried to take everything in. This was too much information for one person to handle and you raised a hand to massage your temple, feeling your headache worsen.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" You said.

"It's not something you can slip into a conversation." He mumbled.

You looked up at him. You really didn't know what to think about the man standing before you.

"You were brainwashed?" You said quietly.

He nodded solemnly, he cast his eyes down but you could tell he was remembering all the awful things that had happened to him. A tear trickled down his cheek. You sighed raggedly and put your head in your hands, shaking it again. This was too much. How could this be happening? This was like something out of a James Bond movie, not something that happened in real life and certainly not something that happened to you! How did your life go from 9 to 5 office job and boring chicken dinners to standing in a cell with a homeless man who had been brainwashed into becoming an assassin? Oh, not to mention Captain bloody America was standing less than a few feet away from you. You almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"Y/n?" Bucky said quietly after a while, wondering if you were alright. He reached out a slightly shaking hand to place it on shoulder but you flinched away from it. He stared at you, hurt.

"This is too much." You said, voice muffled slightly by your hands. "I'm sorry, I can't..."

You felt the tears roll down your cheeks and you realised this was all too overwhelming, it was too much for you to take in in one go. All you wanted to do was go back to your apartment and forget this ever happened, try to forget about shield, about getting kidnapped, forget about Bucky.

You turned quickly and walked to the door you had came in through, it opened immediately and you let your feet carry you out of Bucky's cell without daring to look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always appreciate any comments or kudos :D <3


	9. Bucky's POV and Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky doesn't blame you for walking out on him, he thinks any sane person would. But he can't shake the feeling that you've just punched him in the gut. He really doesn't know how to handle losing you...
> 
> The truth has overwhelmed you. It's hard to get your head around what you've just learnt about your seemingly innocent friend Bucky. Perhaps he is innocent, perhaps he isn't. All you know is you need to get out of there and get back to your apartment before you go crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank youuu lovelies for commenting and for the kudos :D i appreciate every single one!! I hever thought this would get so much feedback or kudos or views so thank you!!!!! <3
> 
> This next part is two short parts in one. So the first bit is from Bucky's pov and the second is yours :) i hope you like it <3

Bucky watched you leave. He tried to convince himself he shouldn't feel as hurt or as shocked as he did. He couldn't blame you for walking out like that. Revealing that he was a brainwashed assassin was enough to make anyone turn his back on him. Still, his heart became ten times heavier when you left him in that cell alone. He wanted to talk to you still, tell you that it wasn't his fault, try and convince you that he wasn't a bad person, but he wasn't even sure if he believed that himself. 

He didn't realise how long he had been standing there staring at the door until he felt his hands clenching into fists almost on their own accord. Anger surged through him suddenly and he felt his breath become heavy and shallow. His jaw tensed up and he furrowed his brow. He was angry, at you, at himself, at shield, at HYDRA. How could he have been so stupid to become friends with you? He had known the risks! 

He walked to the wall swiftly and punched it with his metal arm with all the strength he had. A sickeningly loud metallic sound rang through the small room and a dent was left in it's wake. You'd been so kind to him, treated him not as an object but a human being. Why? He hadn't deserved it.

Confusion mixed with anger and he punched the wall again, this time harder, gritting his teeth against the force of the impact.

How could he have lost you so quickly? How could he have let this happen? 

He drove more punches into the wall, again and again until beads of sweat trickled down his temples and his back, making his shirt stick unpleasantly to his skin, he didn't care though, all he seemed to care about was how stupid he had been and how he was convinced he'd never see you again.

He could feel eyes watching him from the two way mirror, that only served to anger him further. They were spying on him. He couldn't stand it, being locked up again like this. He needed to get out.

~~~~~~~

The moment you stepped out of the cell Steve came out of the side room and began walking quickly towards you.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked, shocked that you'd just walked out on Bucky.

You didn't reply, and kept your gaze down, "I'd like to go home now." You said quietly to Coulson.

"You're just going to leave him?" Steve said, frowning down at you.

"No...Yes. I don't know...I don't know." You replied, looking down at your feet, "I hardly know the man..." You looked up at the captain and gave him a curious look, "You're supposed to be his friend, how come you aren't the one speaking to him?"

"He doesn't want to speak to me." He said though it was strained as if he was fighting to keep the emotion out of his voice. "______, please. He needs you, I saw how he behaved when you first went in there, it was almost like having the old Bucky back. The good, caring, protective Bucky..."

Steve went quiet and after a moment he ducked his head and turned away. You would have felt guilty if you had any energy left to feel anything other than exhaustion. Sighing, you turned back to face Coulson.

"This is too much, I want to go home." You said weakly.

He nodded in understanding, "Well, we've still got to finish interviewing you but since it's fairly obvious you aren't working against us I reckon you'll be able to go home after that. I'm just sorry you got roped into this. We'll need you to sign a few things as well, just to ensure that you won't talk about Bucky or anything you've heard or seen here today outside of these walls."

"Fine." You said, not really paying attention, at this point you'd do anything just to get out.

Phil shared a glance with the Cap before leading you out of the corridor and towards an office a few floors up where you finished up the interview, though you couldn't think about much else other than your conversation with Bucky, and signed several documents without really reading them over. After that, he led you to the exit. Outside it was surprisingly dark, you must have been out cold for quite some time.

"What time is it?" You asked Phil who was waiting with you until the S.H.I.E.L.D car (he had arranged) arrived to take you home.

"11 pm." He said, without having to look down at his watch.

There was an awkward silence as you waited for car. When it finally came you were glad to get away from the heavy silence, but just as you put your hand on the car door handle Phil spoke.

"Miss ______ If you have any more information on Bucky that you think would be of importance to us then please do come back and let us know." He said, his tone almost pleading. 

You looked at him for a moment then nodded. Before you could get into the car however Phil spoke up again.

"Are you really going to turn your back on him?" He asked quietly.

You froze and stared at your hand on the door handle. You hadn't thought of it like that. It did seem like you were walking out on him, cutting him out of your life now that he was in someone else's hands. You hadn't throughly thought out your actions, you'd just known you needed to get out of there before you became completely overwhelmed. But you weren't walking out on him really were you? You wouldn't do that to Bucky. No, you would come back to see him when things settled down, when you'd managed to wrap your head around everything, but for now you needed to get home...At least, that's what you would tell yourself to ease the guilt a little.

You got in the cab without answering Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments or kudos always appreciated :D i hope you enjoyed this chapter <3


	10. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're back home after one of the strangest, emotional days of your life. You're not sure how to deal with everything that's happened. Maybe just repressing it will help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is late D: i hope you can forgive me and are still interested in this story lovelies! And i hope you all had a great christmas/holiday and have a very happy 2016 :D here is the next chapter for you <3

The journey back home was a surprisingly short one, apparently S.H.I.E.L.D HQ wasn't that far from your apartments. 'That must have made the transportation of our sedated bodies a lot easier.' You thought bitterly and felt a chill run down your spine at the thought.

You walked into your apartment in a sort of trance. You weren't fully aware of your surroundings and nearly tripped going up the stairs.

When you'd made it to your living room in one piece you plopped down on the armchair and sat there for quite some time going over everything, reliving the past few days in your head and trying to make some sense of it. Eventually your exhaustion got the better of you and you fell asleep there dreaming of rooms full of bright lights and new faces.

When you awoke it took you a minute to figure out what had happened. Once you realised you must have fallen asleep you groaned and took out your phone to look at the time.

"9 am." You mumbled, rubbing your eyes groggily.

You were late for work, not that you cared about that right now, you'd just call in sick today. You felt like you needed to take a sick day anyway. It took you a while to gather enough motivation to get out of the chair and drag yourself to the bathroom to shower and change but eventually you managed it. You spent most of the day lounging around with the tv blaring in the background, you'd thought watching something would help distract you, but it didn't.

Images of Bucky's face kept flashing in your mind. The terrified look he had when shield had barged into your home, the relived look when he'd seen you were safe and unharmed, the guilty, tortured one when he'd told you the truth. It was still difficult to believe. Bucky, a recovering brainwashed assassin, the idea seemed too ridiculous to be true but he'd had no reason to lie about such a thing.

Rufus jumped onto your lap and spun in a circle several times before lying down, using you as his own personal heated bed. She managed to tear you from your thoughts from a moment and you found the soothing motion of petting her back and her soft purring comforting until you remembered how Bucky had so loved your cat and then it was back to reliving everything. 

This is how you spent several days, calling in sick and lounging around overthinking everything until you were teetering in the edge of insanity. Finally, when the dirty dishes in the sink had become unbearable, you decided you weren't going to let this small incident get the better of you. It was behind you now and it was time to get on with your life and forget it.

Things were difficult at first but little bits at a time your life was starting to become more normal again, over the next few weeks. Wake up, go to work, have lunch with jim, more work, come home, have dinner, feed Rufus, sleep. No strange homeless men were included in that routine, just as a normal persons life should be. Whenever thoughts of Bucky popped into your mind you tried to quickly replace it with another thought, though that didn't help much. But overall things were as they should be.

Until that damn phone call.

It was late in the evening, around 11pm, when your phone rang. You were just thinking of turning off the tv and going to bed but someone had other plans for you that night. You jumped when it rang and stared at it suspiciously, wondering who would call so late, any time past 9pm was considered rude wasn't it? Still, you reached across the coffee table and picked it up.

"Unknown number." You murmured out loud, frowning at the lit up screen.

You waited a while, unsure of whether you should answer it but then it stopped ringing and you heaved a sigh of relief. That small part of relief lasted all of five seconds before your phone rang again. This worried you, whoever was trying to contact you seemed pretty desperate.

Finally you decided to take a deep breath and answered it, holding Rufus close to your chest for support.

"Who is this?" You asked, trying to sound sharp and failing pretty badly.

"This is Agent Phil Coulson from shield." The man on the other end spoken and you didn't know whether to be relieved or more worried, "_____, this is important, you must answer truthfully. Is Bucky Barnes with you?"

Your stomach did a backflip and your heart started beating heavily in your chest. Just when you thought you'd be able to put all this behind you and never think about it again this just had to happen. Everything came rushing back and it was like you'd only left shield hq and Bucky a few hours ago. You had so many questions already and you had no idea which one to ask first.

"______, is James Buchanan Barnes with you right now?" Phil pressed, sounding desperate.

"No, no he isn't." You managed, clutching the phone so hard it was hurting your hand, "W-why would he be with me? Isn't he at shield being held in a prison cell?" You added the last part bitterly.

"No." Phil sighed, sounding exhausted, "He's escaped."

You felt your breath hitch in your throat and you hadn't realised your grip on Rufus had become too tight until he hissed and clawed at you, trying to get away. You let out a shout of pain and dropped the phone and Rufus. He ran into the kitchen quickly and you didn't have time to stop and think about the painful claw marks he'd left on you. You immediately picked the phone back up, holding it with both hands up against your ear.

"Escaped?" You near shouted, "When did this happen? Where is he?"

"That's what we're trying to find out Miss ______." Coulson said, you could hear the sounds of an engine on his line and guessed he was in a car. "If you see him or hear anything, anything at all, from him let me know immediately."

"Wait, how?" you tried, but he'd already cut you off.

You took the phone from your ear and stared at it in stunned silence for a moment. The tv was still blaring in the background and you could hear a few cars driving past on the street below but everything seemed to fade into white noise as you stared at that little bright screen. After a moment you raised your hand and dragged it down the side of your face.

"Ow!"

You removed your hand quickly when you felt a sharp pain on your left cheek. You looked down at your hand to see the smallest amount of blood that had come from the cat scratch. You stared at it a minute, transfixed until your adrenaline kicked it. You turned off the TV, ran to the door, grabbing your coat flung over the back of the sofa on the way, stuffed your feet into your shoes and only just remembered to grab your keys. Then you were running out of your front door, locking it behind you and hurriedly sprinting down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos or comments appreciated always :3


	11. Answers Are Needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've just heard the news of Bucky escaping from his cell at S.H.I.E.L.D and have dropped everything to run out of your apartment and find out what's going on. You need to speak to Phil...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, i'm terrible at naming chapters lol.  
> Here is the next part :3 this one is quite short but the next will be a long one.
> 
> Thank you so much for your kudos and comments! I love hearing what you think and i'm happily surprised that people are liking it and leaving such lovely words! Thank you!! :D <3

You ran straight out of your apartment building, nearly tripping up on the stairs, then turned right and ran up the street to the main road. You needed to get to S.H.I.E.L.D HQ and see Coulson, needed to know what had happened to Bucky and where he was now, your mind jumped to the worst conclusions which only made you run quicker, still clutching your phone in your hand. It surprised you that you obviously still cared enough about Bucky to be concerned for him, to run round New York at night just to find out what was happening with him, but you didn't have time to think on those feelings for long.

You came to several dead ends and places you knew were nowhere near S.H.I.E.L.D before the large building came into sight. It shouldn't have taken long seeing as it was practically round the corner from you but it had taken longer in the dark. You could taste the metallic tang of blood in your mouth after running so fast for so long and you could feel sweat on your forehead, despite the cold night air, but it didn't stop you. Eventually you came to the heavily guarded entrance of the HQ and stood panting for a moment as a few guards eyed you suspiciously.

One of them, a tall blond heavily armed, came towards you with a brow braised.

"Can I help you?" He asked, polite enough but still suspicious.

"Yeah," you breathed, just about managing to catch your breath, "I need to see Agent Phil Coulson."

"Alright, S.H.I.E.L.D ID please." He said, holding out a ham like hand.

You stared at it a moment before looking up at his stern face.

"I don't-" you started, shaking your head, "No, I don't work here. I just need to talk to him."

"I'm not letting you in without an ID." He laughed, "You think I'm just gonna let some stranger walk into one of the most heavily guarded and protected building in the country?" He looked back towards the other guards who smiled in amusement.

You felt anger rising like bubbles in your chest and you scowled at him, straightening up.

"Then just tell him, tell him _____ _____ needs to talk to him right now." You said loudly.

The guard had barely opened his mouth before a car came up behind you seeking entrance to the building. He immediately ushered you to the side and approached the car window. You groaned and ran your hands through your hair in frustration, how were you meant to find out what was going on with Bucky if this stupid guard refused to cooperate.

"Miss _____?"

The sound of your name caused you to turn around. Coulson was sitting in the drivers seat of the car with the window half rolled down, peering over the top of it at you. You almost laughed with relief at the sight of him and approached the car. The guard held out his arm to stop you getting too close, but with a nod from Coulson he soon lowered it so you could talk to him.

"What is going on?" You asked, "You can't just call me up saying Bucky has escaped then hang up on me!"

"Get in the car," he said calmly, "I'll explain everything inside."

You heard the locks on the doors click open and you hesitated for a second before he gestured for you to get in the passenger seat. You sighed and did as he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments always appreicated :D <3


	12. Bucky's Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil explains everything and you realise how big of a mistake it was to just leave Bucky behind. Then learn about Bucky's unfortunate past and wonder if you really knew him at all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments as always!! <3 i hope you like this next part, it's a long one but it explains basically everything :) and it sets up an action part for the next chapter woo!

"How did he escape? When did this happen? Is he going to be ok?...Will you answer me already?"

You sped after Phil down the corridors of S.H.I.E.L.D, they seemed less daunting now you had come in of your own will and hadn't been drugged and shoved in here. As before though no one seemed to want to tell you what exactly had happened and despite the calm appearances of the agents you could tell there was an uneasy air to the place.

Phil stayed quiet but led you into a sort of lounge area and told you to sit down on one of the sofas. As soon as he'd said that he turned around to walk back out.

"Wait, where are you going?" You said, standing up after you'd just began to sit down. "You told me you'd tell me."

He turned back to face you, "And I will Miss ______, I'll be back in a second."

Before you could protest he'd walked off quickly, the doors to the lounge sliding shut behind him. You let out a noise of frustration and sat tensely on the edge of the sofa tapping your foot and biting your nails. You looked around the room and tried not to let your nerves get the better of you, the room was quite big and had huge windows on two of the walls that overlooked New York. There were several large grey sofas arranged into a square in the centre, adorned with red cushions, and a glass coffee stood in the middle of them with a few magazines and old coffee mugs scattered on it. It was far too quiet for your liking but sadly there was no tv or radio to turn on and fill the empty space.

Thankfully, you didn't have to wait long before Phil came back with two others. One you recognised as Steve Rogers and the other was the man you'd seen with him when you'd last been here. They were talking fast.

"And you've contacted everyone who you think could be harbouring him?" Steve asked, looking to Coulson.

"Yes, every one of them and it's proven fruitless." Phil sighed.

"Couldn't one of them just be, I don't know, lying?" The other man asked, crossing him arms over his chest.

"Well, yes," Phil explained, "but I honestly don't think he'd have run to anyone. He's most likely to be on his own-"

"Do you think he's ok?" You piped up, cutting him off.

The three of them turned to look at you, Phil the only one who didn't look surprised to see you.

"What's she doing here?" Steve asked quietly after a moment of silence, though not quietly enough because you still heard him.

"Steve, Sam, you remember ______." Phil said, gesturing for you to come forwards.

"Of course." Sam said with a smile, extending his hand for you to shake, "Nice to see you again, sorry about the whole...kidnapping thing."

You shook his hand, "Just don't do it again."

Steve frowned at you and your face fell. Great, Captain America was angry with you, that couldn't be a good thing. You quickly looked back round at Coulson and raised your eyebrows.

"Are you going to tell me now?" You asked.

"Of course, of course." He said, ushering you to sit back down again, you were starting to feel a little bit like a yo-yo.

Phil sat down besides you, Sam and Steve sat on the sofa opposite you both and watched as Phil explained. At first the agent hesitated, trying to think how to word his explanation.

"Bucky..." He started, then stopped and sighed before looking back at you. "He wasn't doing so well being locked up in that cell-"

"No kidding." You said, frowning at him.

"I know." He said, shaking his head, "Perhaps we did take the wrong approach to his situation, we know that now. At the time it seemed like the best thing...anyway, he calmed down considerably once he saw you but the moment you left him things started going downhill shockingly quickly. He became violent. He was punching walls, practically tearing the room apart. You really hurt him ____."

You felt your heart sink to your feet at those words and had to swallow back the lump in your throat.

"So it's my fault?" You asked, half angry at being blamed for this mess and half of you feeling guilty that you had caused Bucky so much grief.

"I wouldn't say all of it-" Phil started.

"You abandoned Bucky." Steve said, glaring at you and standing up, "If you hadn't have left him he wouldn't have become so angry and upset and escaped."

You stood up and glared back.

"If you hadn't have locked him up he wouldn't have had to escape from anywhere." You said through gritted teeth, you already felt awful about leaving him and you certainly didn't need Captain America giving you grief too. "I looked after Bucky when he needed it the most. I invited him into my home. I cooked him dinner and gave him a place to stay, where were you if you care about him so much?"

"I was out there trying to find him." Steve said, surprisingly calmly considering the murderous look on his face. "Bucky is my best friend, we grew up together! We fought together! I would never abandon him."

That last part felt as though Steve had reached through your chest and wrenched your heart and you struggled not to let that show.

"Alright guys let's keep things civil. We can't start pointing the finger at anyone, we all played some part in this." Sam said, standing up and pushing Steve back down onto the sofa, he raised his eyebrows at you expectedly and you also took your seat.

"You grew up together?" You whispered after an awkward silence, then looked up at Steve. "How is that possible? You were born in the 20's..."

"So was Bucky." He said, looking down at the floor.

"I don't understand." You said, frowning.

"When Bucky was captured by hydra in the second world war-" Phil began.

"Wait, second world war?" You asked, "He fought in the war? With Steve?"

"Yes. Bucky was Steve's right hand man." Phil explained, "Just listen. Bucky was captured by the enemy, Hydra, they brainwashed him and turned him into their weapon. They made him forget about his old life to become an assassin. For the last 60 years he has been the cause of many deaths. Each time he had finished a job they would put him on ice. He would be frozen in his current state until they next needed him."

"Like how Steve was frozen in ice?" You asked.

"Exactly." He said. "But once Bucky saw Steve again he started to remember and managed to escape hydra and go on the run. That's when you found him."

You nodded in understanding, this was a lot to take in all at once.

"But that would make him...well into his nineties!" You exclaimed in shock.

"Well yes, in a way." Coulson said, "But he has the biological age of a 30 year old."

The guilt began to eat away at you once again. You hadn't known anything about Bucky really, you just thought you knew him. You had no idea what you'd be letting yourself in for when you got him that coffee all that time ago, it felt like years but really it must have only been a few months. You swallowed and looked up at Steve, he had lost Bucky too many times and now you had contributed to him losing his best friend again.

"You have to understand." You said quietly, "I just couldn't handle everything at once. So much had happened that day, it was completely overwhelming."

You looked up at Phil and the others who were watching you. Steve's expression was still stern but Sam nodded in understanding as you went on.

"I wish I hadn't left him now." You said even quieter, "Perhaps it wasn't the best decision but at the time I didn't know what else to do, I just needed to get out. I thought I was going to go crazy or black out if I spent another minute in that cell."

You looked at Steve, desperately hoping that he would understand.

"The moment I heard about Bucky's escape I came over here as fast as I could. Which must mean I do still care about him...I do..." You said. "And if I get to see him again, I'll tell him how sorry I am. I shouldn't have abandoned him. I'm sorry Steve."

You ducked your head so the others wouldn't see your eyes watering. Phil put his hand on your shoulder comfortingly. Steve sighed but his expression had softened the slightest amount.

"How did he escape anyway?" You asked Coulson, trying to change the subject so you wouldn't start crying.

"It wasn't pretty." He said, "He used his metal arm to tear down one of the walls. Before our guards could take action he was batting them away like flies. There's no stopping him once he starts using that arm."

"Was anyone hurt?" You asked in shock.

"A few guards ended up in the hospital wing with a few broken bones, but nothing serious thankfully." Phil said.

You breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you have any idea where he might be?" Sam asked you.

You furrowed your brow in concentration. Trying desperately to think back to your conversations with him, wondering if he might have mentioned somewhere, anywhere that would give you a clue to where he was now. Finally you had to shake your head, he had never given any clues as to where he went when he wasn't in your apartment.

"I'm sorry, no." You said.

Sam nodded. "Well, we're just going to have to search for him as best we can."

He stood up then, and Steve and Phil stood up with him.

"You're going to search for him?" You asked, standing up so quickly the room spun a little.

"Yes. We already have more than half of S.H.I.E.L.D out looking for him." Steve said, then turned to Sam and whispered something, Sam nodded and they began to walk quickly towards the door.

"Wait! I'm coming with you!" You said, running after them.

They stopped and turned to face you in surprise.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Steve said, beginning to walk off again, but you grabbed his arm.

"Please." You said, hating that you were almost having to beg, but this meant too much to you to just walk away from.

"Don't you have a job?" He said, furrowing his brow.

You'd almost forgotten about that, "This is more important." You decided out loud.

Steve looked at you intently, almost as if he were trying to work something out.

"It's too dangerous." Steve said, but didn't turn to move away again.

"I don't care about that, I need to tell him that I'm sorry. Sitting here just waiting for any scrap of news would be torture." You said, still holding onto his arm, "I might be able to help."

"I agree." Coulson spoke up, drawing Steve's attention. "Bucky might be more willing to participate if ______ is there with you if you find him. And we need all the help we can get finding someone who is doing there best to not be found."

You gave Phil a grateful look while Steve sighed and thought it over.

Steve looked at you, "Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments always appreciated :D <3


	13. Brooklyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve thinks he knows where Bucky might have gone, but he'll have to take a trip to the past to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh i haven't updated in ages i'm sorry!! I hate it when writers do that. I hope you enjoy this next chapter! And for anyone still interested in reading: thank you for sticking with it and being so patient :)

You, Steve, and Sam took one of S.H.I.E.L.D's cars. Steve drove, Sam sat in the passenger seat and you sat in the middle seat of the back looking out of the windows desperately wishing that Bucky would walk right past you and the search would be over. But you knew that was less than likely to happen. 

"We're gonna start in Brooklyn. It's where we grew up together, I'm hoping Bucky will have been drawn to the place and found somewhere safe to hide out." Steve said, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white.

All three of you tried to ignore the possibility that Bucky had already fled New York and was maybe even leaving the country. You couldn't blame him for that, if you had been in the same situation as Bucky you would have run in the opposite direction as S.H.I.E.L.D as fast as you could. After all, he thought he had nothing left in New York, thought he'd been abandoned by you. You swallowed the lump in the throat and noticed Steve was pulling into an alley between two abandoned buildings.

You all got out and stared at the place curiously. It was full of old, worn down buildings and was completely deserted, it looked as though no one had set foot there for decades. You and Sam followed Steve as he seemed to know where he was going. Then suddenly he stopped right in front of a tall building that looked like it might have been a block of flats once a upon a time, though it was hard to tell now. Windows had been broken, bricks were crumbling apart and the front door was hanging on it's hinges.

"What is this place Cap?" Sam asked, staring up at it.

Steve didn't answer, just walked forwards and opened the door tentatively, as though he was afraid to break it, though it wouldn't have made a difference to the state of the building anyway. You and Sam shot each other a confused look then decided to follow after Steve.

The building was even worse on the inside, the whole place reeked of damp, the wallpaper was peeling, there were rodent droppings all over the creaky floorboards. It was hard to believe that anyone once lived here. Steve didn't seem to give these things a second look though, he began walking swiftly up the concrete stairs. Sam moved you in front of him so he'd have your back if any danger raised it's head.

"Where are we Sam?" You asked him in a whisper.

Sam shrugged.

Steve appeared to know exactly where he was going, as if he had walked this way a thousand times. 

Then everything seemed to make sense, the building must have something to do with Steve's past, before he was Captain America, when he knew Bucky. The building definitely seemed to be old enough.

"Steve." You called him, but he didn't acknowledge it.

You walked quicker up the steps then saw him turn left off the stairs and into a sort of hallway.

"Steve." You tried again, but he was so focused on getting to wherever it was that he ignored you again.

Then he stopped.

He stopped right next to one of the doors that littered the walls of the hallway, then just stared at it. The red painting on it was chipped and flaking off but despite that the door was fully intact and held two gold numbers on the front.

"23." Sam said, looking to Steve for an explanation.

He didn't give one though. He walked forwards and placed his hand on the door knob, he tried turning it and found that it was unlocked.

"Steve." You said again, this time grabbing his upper arm and stopping him in his tracks. "Is this where you used to live?" 

"No." He said quietly, then turned the door knob and entered the apartment.

You and Sam followed close behind cautiously. It was just like the rest of the building, run down and crumbling apart but Steve looked at it as if he could see it in it's glory days. This place, whatever it was, obviously held a place in his heart.

"It's where Bucky used to live." He said.


	14. An Old Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve searches Bucky's old home, but is this really where he will find him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos, i hope you're still enjoying it :*

You stared at Steve with wide eyes and had to suppress a gasp. This was where Bucky had grown up, where Steve had visited him countless times, before those two innocent lads knew what their future would entail. There weren't many signs that this used to be a home apart from the sickly coloured wallpaper and a few papers and pictures lying about, some of them half chewed by rats or mice.

The cap then walked quickly and purposefully into the rest of the apartment, throwing each door open with a bang and desperately searching each room. You and Sam stood in the living room, not quite sure of what to do.

"Do you think he might be here?" You asked Sam quietly as you heard Steve rummage through another room.

"He could be anywhere." He said doubtfully. 

After a moment Sam decided to go and help Steve while you stayed put. You looked around the living room floor at all the newspapers and pictures and decided to pick one up. It was old and yellowed but you were still able to make out the date.

"5th February 1940." You said out loud.

This place must have been abandoned for a long time. You decided to pick up another one, but this one was different, it wasn't old or yellowed, it looked fairly new. The date read '4th February 2016.'

You frowned at it, what was this newspaper doing amongst all the others? Then your eyes skimmed down the front page to a title 'S.H.I.E.L.D prisoner on the run? Page 4' you turned to page 4 quickly.

'...Close sources have informed us there may have been a break out from S.H.I.E.L.D HQ this week...We have reached out to S.H.I.E.L.D but have received no reply...Prisoner thought to be highly dangerous and unpredictable, be on guard.'

"He's not here." Sam said, coming back into the living room with Steve.

"I think he might have been though." You said quietly, looking down at the paper. "I found this amongst all the old newspapers."

Steve and Sam looked over your shoulder at the news article.

"I think you're right." Steve said, "I had a feeling he might have come back to this place. He always came back here whenever he was sad or afraid. His family home brought him comfort."

"But this is only a week or so old." Said Sam looking at the date on the front, "He must still be close by."

You thought of Bucky alone in the apartment, looking sadly at his old family home, seeking desperately for some warmth or comfort. You clutched the newspaper to your chest and looked at Sam. "We have to start looking before he moves on again. If we don't catch up to him this whole thing could turn into a wild goose chase."

You began to move off towards the door before Sam caught your arm and motioned over to Steve.

Steve had walked over to the half broken mantelpiece and picked up a picture frame that was covered in dust. He had wiped the dust off and was staring intently at the picture. Hesitantly you walked over and peered at the picture. It was in black and white and showed two teenage boys sitting on a low wall, they had their arms over each others shoulders and were smiling at the camera. They looked rather scruffy and the smaller one looked like his clothes were too big for him but they couldn't have looked happier.

"It's me and Buck." Steve whispered.

A tear fell from his cheek onto the corner of the picture and he hurriedly tried to wipe it away. It was strange to see him cry, this man was a national hero, a legend, but here he was crying over a photo, over Bucky. He might have been an experiment and a war hero but you realised then that that wasn't Steve, that was Captain America, the young skinny boy in the photo was Steve and the same person stood in front of you now. You placed a hand on his, trying your best to comfort him.

"We'll find him Steve." You said, and you hoped with all your might that you were right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos appreciated :D


	15. Warehouse no.107

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Searching for Bucky is tiresome and you don't seem to be getting very far with it. Just one last warehouse to search before the night creeps in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a longer chapter :) also i realised she'd just forgotten about her job to search for Bucky lol so I added a line in a few chapters back so it makes more sense why she just up and left.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Over the next few weeks you, Sam, and Steve searched and searched for Bucky. You tried old buildings, empty warehouses, abandoned apartments, but never seemed to come any closer to finding him.

You still kept the newspaper with you that you'd found in Bucky's old family home, and Steve had held onto the picture of him and his best friend as if they would somehow lead you to him. None of the other S.H.I.E.L.D agents searching for him had found any clues either and it was beginning to look hopeless.

"Look, maybe we should go back to HQ and come up with a plan." Sam spoke up one day as you all walked away from what felt like the millionth warehouse you had searched, "Going from building to building just isn't working."

"I'm not giving up on him." Steve said, getting back into the car.

"I never said that, I just think we need a better plan." Sam said calmly, getting into the passenger seat.

"The longer we spend drawing up a plan the more time is wasted actually getting out here and looking for him." You said, "We're not going to find him cooped up in HQ all day."

Sam sighed, it was two against one. "Alright, alright, but make this next place the last one for today. The sun's going down and it'll be dark soon."

This last place was another old warehouse, at this point you'd seen enough of them to last you a lifetime and were growing tired of them. You just hoped this next one wasn't a big one so you could finish searching quickly then go back to the hotel, the three of you had been staying at, and just collapse onto the nearest bed. But when you arrived it didn't look any smaller than the others. Steve managed to wrench the doors open at the back and you all stepped into the place warily.

"You two go and search the back rooms, I'll search the upstairs." Steve said tiredly, then headed up the stairs.

You and sam walked quietly towards the back rooms. It didn't seem like there was anyone here but a few times there had been a homeless person hiding in the shadows, so it was difficult to tell if you were alone or not.

"I'll check this side." He said, pointing to the left, "You check over there, if you see anything call me." 

You nodded and watched as he began walking away. You secretly hated being left on your own when you were searching a building, you became paranoid at every sound and was certain someone would jump out at you and you didn't have the strength of Steve or Sam to help defend yourself.

You got out your phone and turned on the torch light, then walked forwards carefully. The wind whistled against the walls of the building and rattled the window panes eerily which made you pick up your pace a bit.

"Just search quickly and then you can get out of here." You said to yourself, looking behind you.

You pressed on, shining the light in the dark corners and telling yourself that you were being paranoid and it was just an empty building. There was no sign of any life, not even the odd rodent or insect.

Suddenly there was a sharp metallic noise. You gasped and felt you heart pounding uncomfortably in your chest. You stopped and turned around, looking for the source of the noise, but there was nothing.

"It was nothing." You told yourself and began to walk again.

But you had barely walked two steps when you heard it again, this time it lasted longer.

'Oh my god. This is it. There's probably a murderer here ready to kill me. This is how it ends.' Your train of thought raced out of control and you could feel your heart beat in your head as the blood rushed to it.

Then you decided there was nothing else for it and began to run, your breath came out in sharp gasps as you headed for the exit, but the next second you were falling. Your foot had got caught on something and you'd tripped, nearly face planting the floor. Thankfully your hands had caught you at the last second. You tried to get back up again but stopped midway. The sharp metallic noise happened again, this time louder and closer than before, this time it was coming no more than a few metres away from you.

You took in a deep breath and tried to prepare yourself for what you might see when you turned your head. You turned your head quickly and your mouth fell open at the sight.

"Bucky?"


	16. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've finally found Bucky hiding out in the back of an abandoned warehouse. But he doesn't seem too happy to see you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos as usual :D i appreciate every one of them. Please do let me know what you think of it, i love hearing your feedback :)

Bucky sat there looking just as surprised as you were. His arm seemed to be trapped in some kind of press. He moved his left arm again and the metal scraping against metal produced that haunting metallic sound.

You stood up slowly, your eyes locked on his.

You wanted to tell him how worried you'd been, how guilty you'd felt about leaving him, but you couldn't find the right words to tell him. The sentences weren't forming properly in your head, it just seemed to be filled with broken phrases and odd words that would all come spilling out of your mouth in an awkward heap if you tried to speak.

Bucky shifted uncomfortably and finally broke eye contact with you, his gaze resting on the floor. Cautiously, you moved forwards and took a deep breath to help calm you.

"Bucky." You said again, this time quieter. You had to try your best to keep your voice steady. 

But then you felt a sudden burst anger rise up in your chest.

"How could you?" You said, frustrated that he'd put you trough so much stress. "I was-why did you-?!" Your sentence trailed off.

You sighed and ran a hand down your face. Half of you wanted to shout at him, tell him never to scare you like that again and half of you wanted to run over to him and hug him and tell him you were glad he was safe. You knew shouting wasn't going to help and that Bucky didn't deserve it at all, but you were hesitant to run over and hug him so you just stood there helplessly. He was still staring down at the floor with a blank expression.

"I thought I'd lost you." You said finally, taking a step forward.

"Don't pretend you care." He said gruffly.

Your stomach flipped at his words and your heart felt as though it had turned to lead. For a moment you stood in silence, trying not to let your eyes water and the tears start spilling.

"I'm not pretending." You said, a bit firmer, "I was so worried about you, Bucky. I'm so sorry-"

"I don't blame you for leaving me." He cut in, still talking down to the floor, "I would have left me too. Just don't pretend you care just so you can do the same thing all over again."

You took the last few steps forward and brought your hand up to clasp his free one, then thought better of it and retracted it slowly.

"I was never pretending to care about you Bucky." You said forcefully, kneeling beside him now, "I-You're my friend. I should never have left you."

Bucky kept his gaze away from you as tears began to form in your eyes, making your vision blurry. You realised just how much abandoning him had hurt him. 'Of course it had hurt him!' You thought, 'You should have realised sooner, should have stuck by his side, that's what a real friend would have done.'

"Y/n?" You heard Sam calling your name. "Found anything?"

You stood up hastily and wiped the tears from your eyes, "In here Sam!" You called, trying not to let your voice crack.

You heard fast footsteps approaching, then the bearer of them appeared at the door.

"Oh shit." Sam said, as soon as he saw Bucky. "I'll get Steve."

~~~

You, Steve and Sam all stood in the dingy room, at the back of the warehouse, looking at Bucky.

"Why did you run away Buck?" Steve asked softly.

He was stood closest to Bucky while you and Sam stood back. You couldn't quite bring yourself to look at him again just yet and instead listened intently for a reply.

Bucky sighed and shifted his feet slightly, "I felt trapped in there." He said quietly.

Steve raised his eyebrows and exhaled, "I'm sorry Buck." He said sincerely, "I never should have let Shield lock you up like that, it was wrong. I know you'd never hurt anyone."

"I did hurt people though." Bucky replied, just above a whisper.

"No Bucky, listen to me that wasn't you." Steve said firmly, taking a step forwards. "That was Hydra using you, you had no choice."

Bucky fell silent, he knew Steve was right but he just couldn't let go of the guilt. Steve couldn't blame him, going through something like that was enough to make anyone feel guilty. But he'd make sure to tell Bucky none of it was his fault, every day if he had too.

"I just thought I was doing what was best, keeping you in that cell." Steve said with a sigh, "I should have realised sooner, I should have listened to Y/n." 

Bucky raised his head to look at Steve, his brows furrowed. Then he looked towards you but you were still staring down at your feet, unable to meet his gaze. Steve seemed to pick up on what was running through his best friend's mind.

"Y/n was against keeping you locked up from the moment she saw you in that cell." Steve said, taking a quick glance at you.

You shifted uncomfortably, feeling Bucky's eyes boring into you.

"Then why did she leave me then if she was so concerned?" Bucky bit out the last word, as though he couldn't believe you'd ever felt anything for him. It almost made you flinch.

"Buck, I think you can agree this situation is enough to make anyone feel overwhelmed." Steve replied, "She never stopped caring about you, she just needed some space. As soon as she heard about your break out she was demanding entrance to S.H.I.E.L.D HQ and basically forced us to take her with us, to help find you." Steve laughed.

Bucky continued to stare at you but Steve noticed his expression had become softer.

You blushed and really wished you had stepped outside the moment Steve had mentioned your name. You had no idea what to say, or if you should say anything at all. A heavy silence fell on you all. Sam cleared his throat and decided to change subjects to spare you all from the awkwardness.

"How did this happen?" He asked, motioning towards the metal arm trapped in the press.

"I did it." Bucky replied, "I had to, to keep everyone safe. This makes me dangerous." He motioned to his arm. "I thought I'd be safe here."

"You're not dangerous anymore Bucky." Steve said, walking over to the press and lifting it up with ease, releasing Bucky's arm. "You don't have to hide away to keep people safe. You're not the man that Hydra had control over, you're James Buchanan Barnes. My right hand man." 

Steve give him a playful punch in the shoulder and you glanced up just in time to see a small smile pass over James' face.

"Do you remember anything about me?" He asked, trying not to show his desperation.

Bucky sat hunched over, his brow furrowed as if he was thinking.

"I remember your mom, Sarah Rogers." Bucky said, looking up at Steve. "You used to put newspapers in your shoes." 

Steve found it almost impossible not to show his delight at this and smiled fondly at the shared memory. It wasn't much but it was enough to give him hope. Another silence fell again and Bucky looked as though he was working himself up to saying something.

"I'd...like to talk to Y/n." He said, looking up at last. "In private."

Steve and Sam shared a look with each other, then turned their attention to you. You finally raised your head to look at Bucky in surprise, he was looking straight back at you, expressionless. Steve raised his eyebrows at you in askance and you nodded you head to let him know it was fine.

"Alright. We'll have plenty of time talk later." Steve said, backing out of the room with Sam. "We'll just be outside."

Before he closed the door behind him he gave you a comforting smile. Then you were left alone with Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to let you guys know:  
> I've been thinking about starting another work with just bucky/reader one shots and you would be able to request a prompt from this really fluffy prompt list i found on tumblr
> 
> [ fluffy prompt list ](http://freckledfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/107818190757/fluffy-interactions-to-boost-relationship-progress)
> 
> I probably won't able to write them all but i've gone into a bit of a writing frenzy since civil war and wanted to make the most of it. Please let me know what you think about this :)


	17. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky share a private moment together where you become closer, in both senses of the word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my favourite chapter to write so far :D thank you for the kudos and comments! I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think <3

You felt the nerves creeping up on you the longer the silence lasted. Bucky had stood up but had taken to staring at the floor again. You didn't know whether he was expecting you to say something first. Maybe he was going to shout at you for leaving him, you wouldn't blame him if he did, but it might just break your heart. You couldn't stop staring at him, he looked battered and worn out but his handsome features still stood out a mile. You just wish he would lift his head so you could see him properly, and those beautiful blue-grey eyes. 

Blushing at the thought, you shook your head. This wasn't the time to start going over your feelings for him.

"I'm sorry." He said finally, almost making you jump after being so used to the silence.

You blinked at him in surprise. When you didn't reply he looked up at you.

"Wh-what for?" You asked, cringing internally at your nervous stutter.

"For running away, for saying you never cared about me, for making you worry." He said quietly.

You walked closer to him and reached out your hand tentatively to place it on his right forearm. He tensed up at the touch and looked down at your hand but didn't make a move to pull away, which you saw as a good sign.

"It's me who should be sorry Bucky." You said, trying not to cry again, god what would he think of you if you cried again? "I never should have abandoned you, it was wrong of me-"

"No, you looked after me, you helped me." Bucky said firmly, "I shouldn't have pulled you into this mess. It was too much of me to expect you to stay. You didn't ask for this."

Your hand travelled down his forearm to his hand and he took ahold of it gently. You were holding hands. This wasn't something normal friends did was it? His palm fitted into yours perfectly though and the warmth from him made your heart flutter. You'd never touched him like this before. You swallowed, working up the courage to speak again.

"I care about you Bucky." You whispered, "I wanted to help you. In that moment it did feel like it was too much for me."

He let his head drop again and this time you were having none of it. You raised your other hand and tilted his chin up gently for him to look at you, your palm spread over his cheek. His slight stubble tickled your hand and Bucky realised he quite liked the feeling of your hand on his cheek. 

"But when I went back to my apartment I realised, it..." You took a deep breath, "It didn't feel the same without you. The feeling of losing you was worse than anything you could have told me back at S.H.I.E.L.D."

"You don't care that I used to be...?" He trailed off, unable to bring himself to say it.

"Like Steve said, that wasn't you. That wasn't Bucky." You said, "The Bucky I know is kind and gentle and loves stroking cats."

You smiled and he smiled back. You were both remembering sitting together in the living room on a quiet evening. The only sounds being your cat's gentle purring and the low sound of the tv.

"I missed you." You said quickly before you could think twice about saying it.

He looked at you wide eyed as though that was the last thing he was expecting to hear. He placed his left hand gingerly on your waist and you took a sharp inhale of breath at the coolness of it and the feel of his touch. 

"Is this ok?" He asked quietly, feeling you tense up slightly.

You smiled at his sweetness and nodded.

He pulled you closer to him slowly, so close your toes touched and you could feel his cool breath on your face. Because of the height difference he looked down slightly to look into your eyes. You felt your heart beating rapidly and hoped he couldn't hear your shallow breaths.

"I missed you too." He admitted and with his right hand he laced your fingers together.

You blushed again, when were you not blushing around this man? But judging by the slight pink of his cheeks he was blushing too, which only made him cuter. Neither of you said anything for a while, unsure of what this was or where it was going. Your hand was still on his cheek and you were unsure whether to move it. 

Suddenly you laughed.

'"How did it come to this?", You said with a small laugh, "one minute you're helping me save my heel from a drain cover, the next we're sitting in my apartment watching tv together and now...well, we're here."

You laughed again and Bucky smiled slightly, looking down at you. His expression was enough to make your knees feel weak.

"Those days in your apartment, with us watching tv together, was the happiest I'd been in a long time." He said.

At his words your heart swelled with happiness and no longer felt heavy. You felt your cheeks heat up even more and you looked away and down at your entwined hands so he couldn't see. You felt his hand on your waist move slightly, he was holding you loosely as if he was afraid he would hurt you if he grabbed too tightly. Looking back up at him your gaze moved to his lips subconsciously. You could almost feel an electric charge in the air around you.

Then the door opened.

"Everything ok?-oh."

You and Bucky broke apart quickly at Steve's voice, looking flustered and embarrassed at being caught so close together. Steve smirked and he and Sam exchanged a knowing look.

"Sorry, if you need a bit more time..." Steve started.

"It's fine, we were done talking anyway." You said, unable to look any of them in the eye for longer than a few seconds.

"Yeah, it looked like it." Said Sam, earning a nudge in the ribs from Steve. You and Bucky just blushed harder.

You had been so close to him, if you hadn't been interrupted what would have happened? Did he feel the same about you? You definitely got the feeling he did, after all he was the one who moved you closer together. But part of you was terrified that if you brought it up he'd reject you, and you couldn't risk losing him again.

Bucky cleared his throat, "What happens now?" He questioned.

"Come back and live with me." You said quickly.

All three of them turned to look at you and you regretted saying it so frantically.

"I mean that's just where you seemed to be most comfortable. You don't have to." You said shyly.

"I'd love to." Bucky said quickly. He looked touched by your offer and the corners of his lips rose into a smile, which you eagerly returned. Things were going to go back to the way that you and Bucky both preferred. But then his face fell again as if he'd realised something.

"But S.H.I.E.L.D. Won't they try and lock me up again?" Bucky asked.

"No." Steve said firmly, "I won't let that happen to you ever again Buck. Sure, they may want to keep an eye on you but I'll make sure they know you're perfectly safe."

They exchanged a smile, one that had probably been passed between them countless times back in the day and you could tell it would do Bucky the world of good having the Cap back in his life.

Barnes turned back to you. "Are you sure you want me around?"

His eyes scanned your face for any sort of doubt or insincerity, but he knew he'd find none.

"I'd like nothing more." You said with a shy smile, and with that it was decided.


	18. Hand in Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're on your way back to S.H.I.E.L.D to convince them that Bucky isn't a threat anymore, but Bucky isn't so sure they'll believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, after this one :') i hope you enjoy this part! Please let me know what you think, i love reading your comments <3

All four of you drove back to S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve had already contacted Coulson, letting him know that the search for Bucky could be called off now. You were extremely grateful that you'd found Bucky before the agents had, he might not have been so calm and willing to talk with them.

By now it was completely dark outside, save for the glowing street lamps and small lights in the sky, which you couldn't make out to be stars or planes. You and Bucky sat in the backseat, whilst Steve and Sam sat in the front. The radio was on and every so often Sam would say something to Steve but other than that it was quiet. It was clear that Bucky was nervous about going back to S.H.I.E.L.D, he was sat up straight and became more and more on alert the closer you got to HQ. When it finally came into sight you reached over and took his hand in yours, which he grabbed onto instinctively. 

"You'll be fine Buck." You whispered, shuffling as close to him as your seatbelt let you.

He didn't reply but you could tell he had heard. You ran your thumb over his knuckles and he seemed to relax a little.

You held onto his hand even after you'd left the car, he didn't seem to want to let go of you yet. In truth Bucky was scared, scared that you'd be separated again. He wanted more than anything to hug you close to his chest and to not let go until he knew for sure he wouldn't be locked up again. He held onto your hand tighter at the thought, but made sure it wasn't tight enough that it would hurt you.

Coulson met you at the entrance. "It's good to see you all." He said with a tired smile. His gaze lingered on Bucky for a moment and you felt him tense up next to you.

"Let's talk inside." Steve said quickly.

Phil nodded and showed you in. You found yourself walking through those grey corridors again, full of office doors and in some cases a window to a lab full of high tech equipment, which Bucky made a point of looking away from.

He led you to what was presumably his office where you all took a seat.

Steve quickly summarised what had happened whilst Phil listened intently, sometimes looking from him to Bucky and back again.

"He isn't a danger anymore." Steve said firmly. "All those things that happened weren't down to Bucky, they were down to Hydra. Bucky was just a victim and I won't let him be locked up again." 

Steve fell silent at last and Phil looked out the window, deep in thought.

"If you trust he's no longer a threat then I believe you Captain, I won't lock him up again." He said finally.

You squeezed Bucky's hand and smiled at him and felt him relax significantly as he returned the smile and squeezed back.

"But, for safe measure I'd like to keep an eye on him." Coulson said.

"That's understandable." Steve replied with a nod, "But you'll soon see he's perfectly safe now." 

"I do hope so Captain." He replied, "Where will he be staying? With you?"

Steve glanced towards you and Bucky and cleared his throat. "Actually no, he will be staying with ______."

Coulson raised his brows and looked towards the two of you, his eyes flickering down to where your hands were joined. You shifted in your seat, embarrassed, but didn't let go of his hand.

"And you're ok with that Miss L/n?" He asked.

"More than ok." You replied, feeling everyones eyes on you, but especially Bucky's, and feeling your cheeks turn red once again.

"Alright." Coulson said, standing up, "You're free to go then Mr Barnes."


	19. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has moved into your apartment, and it's not just Rufus who is happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww the last chapter :') never thought i'd finish this story but i'm so glad i did. Thank you everyone who has commented or bookmarked or given kudos or just enjoyed reading it :D you're all beautiful <3 i hope you enjoy this last chapter <3
> 
> And if you are looking for more bucky/reader stories i'm making a collection of one shot fics on ao3, and here on tumblr: [buckystories](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/buckystories)

It hadn't taken long for Bucky to move in with you, considering everything he owned was a small black backpack. He hadn't even got that many clothes, and you made a mental note to take him out shopping to buy some more as soon as possible. It was only the second day but overall it hadn't felt strange or unnatural with him around all the time, seeing as he practically lived there before anyway.

Coulson had decided to place an agent on your apartment floor to keep an eye out. Bucky wasn't too happy about it but he didn't complain, knowing that it was far better than being locked away, and you reassured him that Coulson would probably remove the agent soon, once he realised Barnes wasn't a danger.

But things were running smoothly despite that. Steve and Sam had dropped you both off at your apartment, which you were beginning to think you'd never see again. Rufus had come running towards Bucky the moment he saw him and rubbed against his legs purring like crazy.

"You've stolen my cat, Barnes." You'd said in a mock stern voice to which he just laughed and petted your traitor cat.

You couldn't blame Rufus, Bucky just seemed easy to love.

"Wait, how have you been feeding him if you've been away?" He asked in concern.

"Mrs Norris next door feeds him as well, that's why he's so pudgy." You explained, "I'm sure he did fine coping on enough cat food for one cat for a change, instead of two."

Bucky smiled and scratched behind your cat's ears, making him purr contentedly.

Sam and Steve helped you empty your small spare room, which you'd used as a storage closet, so Bucky could sleep there. Not long after, Steve and Sam left, feeling as they were intruding once you'd started to show Bucky around, even though no doubt he knew where everything was. When they left your heart started beating quickly again, the last time you'd been left alone with Bucky you'd almost kissed. Bucky's heart picked up speed too, remembering that moment in the warehouse but unsure as to how to recreate it again, or whether you'd want to recreate it.

You turned to face him and his gaze landed on your lips. Quickly you distracted yourself by showing him where the towels were kept. That day and the day after didn't consist of much talking between you, just awkward eye contact and the occasional shy smile. You began to wonder if letting him stay with you was a good idea after all, would it always feel this weird?

Next evening, after you'd had dinner, you settled down on the sofa together to watch tv for the night. Rufus was sat between you and Bucky stroked him whilst he watched some planet earth documentary. After a while Bucky cleared his throat.

You looked towards him expectantly. He looked back nervously.

"When we...did you-I mean back at the..." He sighed, unable to find the right words, he used to be good at this, he could smooth talk any girl into swinging her across the dance floor and even get a kiss before the end of the night. But now it was hard, it seemed different than it had been before. He wish he'd have taken the chance to kiss you when he had it, who cared if Sam or Steve saw.

You continued to watch him, urging him to say the words, to be the first one to speak up about it.

"Can I get you a drink?" He asked at last, defeatedly.

Your heart sank.

"Oh...yes thanks." You said, unable to hide your disappointment.

He got up slowly, running a hand through his dark hair and began to make his way to the kitchen. You bit your lip and decided someone needed to say something, and if it couldn't be Bucky it'd have to be you. As he walked past your side of the sofa you reached out and took his right hand in yours.

He looked at you wide eyed, unsure of what to do. You stood up and faced him.

"I'm glad you decided to stay with me Buck." You said shyly, unable to look him directly in the eye for more than five seconds, already your face was heating up.

"Thank you for letting me." He said quietly.

You felt him lacing your fingers together as he had done before, you suppressed a gasp and looked down to where your hands were joined. You looked back up at him and saw he was blushing too, which made you feel slightly better.

"Back at the warehouse," You said, trying to gather your courage, "you put your hand on my waist."

"Like this?" He asked, taking ahold of your waist again. You felt the cool metal through your clothes and his thumb tracing circles into your skin. 

"Yes, just like that." You breathed out. "And you pulled me closer to you."

At that, he did the same thing again, pulling you perhaps even closer than before, feeling his chest pressed against yours and his heart beating rapidly against your own. Bucky was starting to get braver. You looked into his eyes and saw the same things you were feeling reflecting back in them.

Gingerly, you moved your free hand onto the upper arm of his metal one. You felt him tense up but you gave him a reassuring smile. Then you began to trace the metal components that made up the bionic arm and you felt him relax slightly. Your touched trailed up, along his shoulder, over his collarbone, up his neck, until you reached his stubbled cheek and jaw.

"If Steve hadn't come back in, what would have happened?" You asked in a whisper, eyes flickering to his lips again, silently urging him to show you.

He moved his face closer to yours so that your noses were nearly touching. Your heart was working frantically in your chest and the anticipation of what he was about to do was almost too much.

His lips brushed against yours softly and you couldn't help but release a sigh at the touch. You felt him smile against your lips, then finally press them against yours. His mouth was hot and the kiss was slow and gentle. He hummed and the vibrations travelled straight to your chest. He unlaced your fingers to bring his hand up to your cheek, it felt warm and comforting against your skin. You moved your now free hand onto his chest, feeling his heart beat against it. You'd both waited to do this for so long, and now it was happening, it was worth the wait. Your mouths moved in sync with each other until you pulled away breathlessly.

He opened his eyes slowly to look at you and you saw his lips were plump and pink as he smiled. You smiled back and moved your hand to the nape of his neck to play with his hair.

"Probably that." He said with a grin and you laughed softly, resting your head in the crook of his neck.

You felt his chin rest on the top of your head and he used his right hand to play with your hair, twisting strands around his finger.

"I promise I won't ever leave you again Buck." You murmured into his chest.

He hummed again and pulled you even closer. Bucky couldn't remember the last time he had felt so at peace.


	20. Not Another Chapter - FORPTA series

Just in case anyone wants to read on i have made another part which follows on from this and is included with this one in a series.

[I have linked it here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7953007/chapters/18187705), I hope you enjoy it :) 


End file.
